I have had many different jobs. I started working when I was 15 and always had a job until I was a stay at home mom. I have worked a few times while being a mom too, but do whatever I can to instead stay at home to raise my four children. I always worked really hard for the companies that hired me, but I never felt fulfilled. I always feel guilty accepting money. I would much rather do service and help people than to do anything for money.
This becomes a problem when we are in need of money to support our family. Right now, in order to help my family, I clean a friends house a couple times a week. I enjoy it and look forward to it (I love that we get to talk as I clean and her kids often follow me around, which I love), but every single time she pays me I feel downright guilty. I would be happy to clean for her just because I care and want to help out. I only accept the money because we really need it right now.
I will seriously work myself to the point of pure exhaustion and barely able to move. I love working hard. It makes me feel good about myself and makes me feel worthwhile. The more exhausted and sore I am, the more accomplished I feel because it means that I gave it my all. I feel like I have purpose when I am working physically hard and when I am helping people.
There is a possibility that one day I will be required to work full time for money in order to take care of my family. I dread that thought. I hope that it is a very, very long time before that is the case. In the mean time, I will work hard at helping others as often as possible.
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