Will Power Shmill-power

I have struggled for years with actually sticking to a healthier diet. I would try really hard to eat healthy and all that lead to was me sneaking junk food. I would go grocery shopping and buy donuts, which I would scarf on my way home and then hide the evidence. I would buy several different kinds of candy and hide them in my room so that whenever I was stressed (which happened more than once a day), I would hide out in my bedroom closet and eat a whole bunch.

Mentally, I would feel satisfied. Physically, I would feel like crap. I would then feel down that I ate it and that would make me feel like indulging even more. It was a vicious cycle. I would crave carbs and sugar like no other. I would get irritable if I didn't eat it. It is like a drug! I seriously calm down as I am eating the junk, even though it physically made me feel miserable. (the image that goes through my mind is like on movies or tv shows when someone shoots up some drugs...the look on their face as their eyes roll back, content with the high...that is me when I bite into chocolate...or whatever sugary carb sweet I am craving!)

I have struggled for years with pain in my bones/joints in my hands, legs, feet. I have also struggled with brain fog and major fatigue. A neurologist ran every test and couldn't figure out why these symptoms were happening. So of course I got the age old, "Your symptoms are due to depression" reasoning. Really? Was it that way? Or was it that I am depressed because of my pain, brain fog, and fatigue???

Shortly after seeing the neurologist, I saw a chiropractor who is also a friend. He suggested going off of gluten because in some people, gluten can cause inflammation. I had tried in the past and it was just too hard (even though I have 2 kids who are gluten free so already was cooking that way). But he said something that clicked, "Do you want to eat something that tastes REALLY good and feel like crap afterward? Or do you want to feel better?!" He then said that he doesn't believe in will power. It has to be an actual change of mind because it is too easy to give in when you are just trying to have will power.

I thought a lot about what he said. Did I want to eat whatever I wanted and feel like crap? Or did I want to feel better? I decided right then and there that I truly wanted to feel better. I stopped eating gluten and haven't gone back. That was almost a year ago. My pain has gone away and only come back if I am contaminated. My migraines are gone and my brain is working better (but my sleep deprivation is affecting that right now!).

I am not writing this to say that you should all go gluten free. My point is that YOU have to change your thinking and CHOOSE that you want to feel better before you will be able to stick with anything. Do you want to feel better??

I am still struggling with some things. I still was eating ice cream on occasion and chocolate, cupcakes whenever I got the chance... I noticed I felt worse after eating them. This week I made the decision that I am going to cut way back on my sugar intake. I haven't even had any this week except for honey!! Yay me!

But how am I doing that when the cravings have always been so strong? I found a healthy substitute.

This is a homemade chocolate that is actually good for you (with a strawberry dipped in it)! I love it. I actually feel good after eating it and satisfied.
All you do is melt coconut oil and put it in a blender with an equal amount of cocoa powder. Then add honey to sweeten. (Do not try to use any non-liquid sweetener...I tried xylitol and sugar and it was awful. It separates and is nasty!) After it is blended well, you can pour it over nuts or just by itself onto wax paper or parchment paper. Then put in the fridge or freezer to harden. At times I have added peanut butter to it. My parents and brother have said it is really good with nuts mixed in, I will be trying that way next. It is also amazing for dipping strawberries in! I have also sliced bananas up and froze the slices, then dipped in the chocolate. It instantly hardens. Just make sure whatever type you make- you store it in the fridge or freezer because coconut oil melts easily. (With the peanut butter one, I poured it onto parchment paper on a big cookie sheet. After it hardened, I cut it with a knife into smaller chunks, then am storing it in a baggy in the fridge)

Coconut oil has countless benefits, so it is a guilt free treat. I found that it is so satiating due to the coconut oil, that I don't feel the need to eat as much as I would normal chocolate.

I have made my choice that I want to feel better and keep adding to it. For me, it was too overwhelming to cut all my food vices out at one time so am slowly phasing them out. But at least I am moving in the right direction. I want to have energy. I want to feel good. I want to be a healthy momma! Plus, I told my brother I would do the Spartan Race with him this year so need to get my body ready for that!

Are you ready to feel better??