Day 1- Finding Myself

My focus (for now) in becoming healthy is on my self esteem and figuring out who I am. It is so easy to get lost in the role of Mom. When my sister went through her divorce she went through the same self discovery. She wanted to figure out who she was, her opinions, likes, dislikes... So she would post daily a new thing she discovered about herself. I absolutely loved that. So I am borrowing her idea =)

Side note: You can read her amazing blog by clicking --> HERE <--


I didn't realize how hard it would be to figure out who I am. So I am going to start with an easy one...

I HATE seafood. Like really, REALLY, REALLY hate seafood. I hate the taste, I hate the thought of it, and most especially hate the smell!!

I get teased for hating seafood. After all, I grew up in "The Halibut Fishing Capital Of the World"!! I worked in a restaurant well known for it's seafood and clam chowder. When customers would ask my opinion of the chowder or seafood I would tell them I don't know because I don't like seafood. They would always be shocked and tease me haha.

You would think that I would have grown a taste for it since we had a lot of seafood when I was growing up. My family would go out and fish often. My dad would stock the freezer with fish so we would have it year round. I was lucky that my mom was sweet enough to always make me a piece of chicken whenever she would cook fish.


So there it is....I am sure this will be the easiest of my posts, but I figured start small =)

Truth About The 21 Day Fix

Beach Body's 21 Day Fix touts that you can lose weight fast in 21 days by following the program. You get color coded containers that portion your food and help you to know how much of each type of food to eat. You also get an exercise program that has 7 different days of workouts (plus a 10 min ab workout); you do one each day of the week.

(below is a picture of what you get with the challenge pack. The Shakeology is a great whole food meal replacement protein shake that gives you energy, cuts down the cravings, and helps flatten your tummy... I will write another blog later to go more in depth about it.)

Sounds like a great gimmick, right? For some it draws them in... "I need to lose weight fast, this sounds great!" And to others it turns them off, "I hate quick fix diets...they aren't healthy and aren't long term."

I want to address these thoughts and talk about what the purpose of this program really is.

Ok...yes, it partly is a gimmick in a way. Who doesn't want to have a quick fix for their weight!?!? It takes so much time and effort to lose weight that the title really is a draw. And you really do lose weight and dramatic inches in the 21 days.

But is it healthy? Is it the right way to go?

It is said that it takes 21 days to form a habit. So as you are consistently working out each day and having portion control with your food (and the right types of food), you are actually retraining your brain and forming a habit. So although it is played off as a quick fix, it is actually the beginning of a lifestyle change.

For someone who either never works out or rarely works out, the 21 Day Fix is a great start. It helps you get into a routine. And by having it in your mind that you WILL do ALL 21 days and follow it to a T those 3 weeks, it is much easier to start doing. Then once you get to day 21 and realize you are done, you already have formed the habit, you have seen the results, you feel so much better, and so much stronger that you want to make eating healthy and exercising a part of your daily life. And Beach Body has a lot of other great exercise programs that you can do once you are tired of doing the ones in the 21 Day Fix. (You can also pay for Beach Body on Demand so that you can access many different programs!)

I was hesitant to do the 21 Day Fix, but I was really glad that I did it. I am almost to my goal weight and am stronger than I was before (I completed the Spartan Race, so that is proof enough for me that this program helped me get stronger!) I am planning on doing it again because I have gotten out of the habit of exercising since I hurt my knee at the end of May. I need to re-form my habit!!

So do I recommend it? Yes I do! Not just because my husband and I are Beach Body coaches, but because we have both done this program and love it. We both have seen great results and believe in this program whole heartedly. My husband is unable to do intense cardio because of having a pacemaker, but he is able to do the exercises (there is a person showing you how to modify if needed).

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me at journeytoahealthymomma@gmail.com
Also, visit our coach page and check out what Beach Body has to offer by clicking here

I am more than happy to help you reach your fitness goals.

3rd Race This Year

When I was a kid I did a race called the Spit Run up in Homer, Alaska. I barely made it. It was pretty long. I think I was around 10 when I did it. That was the only race I had ever done. Then this year happened.

I did a 5k in April with my husband and 4 kids. It was pretty fun and easy. I didn't run because I stayed with my husband (he has a pacemaker and cannot run because it could set off the pacemaker) and was pushing my 2 toddlers in the huge double stroller; also they would get out every once in a while and walk it. Honestly, I wouldn't have actually run though, I don't run... :)

Then in May I did my very first obstacle race. It was so fun! It made the plain ol' 5k seem very boring. I realized just how much I prefer the challenge.

Tomorrow is my first Spartan race.... My brother is on his way from Utah. He, his son, my oldest daughter, and I will be doing the race. My brother has done many (he has a trifecta!), but for the rest of us it is a first! It is a lot more intense than the Mud Stash that I did. The Spartan has harder obstacles and if you cannot complete them then you do 30 burpees. It is going to be a major challenge. I am excited!

But....

I am also terrified!!!

This is going to be the most physically difficult thing I have ever done. (and I have given birth 4 times! haha)

With my health problems comes muscle weakness and fatigue. So that worries me. My arm gets tired just from holding up the hair dryer, so I worry I will have big struggles with the challenges. BUT I also know my personality. When I am determined to finish something then I will force myself to finish it. I will find a way. I don't care how long this race takes me to complete, I just care that I do complete it!

Today I am resting up my body and hydrating as much as I can. Tomorrow is a big day.

I will hopefully be able to post early next week about how the race went! My husband will be taking pictures so I will add those also. Wish me luck!

Scales Aren't the Only Things That Lie...

It is crazy the tricks that our minds play on us. When I look in the mirror I still tend to see a fat girl looking back at me. I believe what the mirror is showing me. I then feel down and frustrated that my work is for nothing. Which makes me sneak junk food and not work out as often as I should. I believe the lies the mirror is telling me.

The other day I went to my brother's house. His teenage daughter gave me a hug and she said something like, "woah, that is so weird. You are so skinny!" I was caught off guard! It made me feel good and also made me wonder if that was true. Was I really thin now? But the girl I see in the mirror isn't thin...

Today was a really rough day with the kids. They were fighting with each other, treating me poorly, etc. I was in a horrible mood and wanted to run away. By the time I got the two youngest to bed I had already planned I was just going to leave and walk for a couple hours by myself (tempted to not go back home for a long long long LONG time...). I had my shoes on and I was ready to leave after I tucked in my 4 year old. My husband peaked his head into the room when I was reading her a book and asked if I wanted to go for a walk with him when I was done. I decided it would be less lonely to run away if he were with me =)

We normally only walk about a mile, but with how I was feeling tonight we just kept walking. We ended up walking 3.8 miles (speed walking a lot of the time).

Ok, so how does this have anything at all to do with the first part of my blog??? I'll tell you...

When I was feeling so down and angry, I was feeling crummy about myself. I saw the fat ugly girl in the mirror. At first on our walk I still felt that way, but by mile 1 I was starting to feel a little better. I had emotionally cooled down. I was enjoying my husband's company. The endorphins were flowing. I went to look at the ground and saw this small body. My first thought was of confusion. Whose body was that??? Because it couldn't possibly be mine! I realized that the mirror had been lying and that because I have been stressed and not exercising as much as I should, my depression started kicking in. And when depressed I tend to believe the negative over the positive.

I may not be at my goal for how I want my body to look. I still have toning to do, I still have strength to gain, but I need to quit believing the lies that I am still the 210 lb fat girl I was just a few years ago. I have lost 64 lbs!!! I just walked 3.8 miles without getting out of breath and could've easily walked further. I am healthier than I have ever been and will continue to get better. And for now on, I will call the mirror out on it's lies and let myself see my progress and be proud of how far I have come.

Alone With My Thoughts

I have mentioned before that getting healthy isn't just physical health. Mental, emotional, and spiritual health are just as important. This post is focusing on those aspects of health.

Today my friend was in need. She needed me to deliver something important 2 hours away. I gladly helped her out, but honestly was a little afraid to be alone with my thoughts. I was happy to get to have a 4 hour break from everything and not have kids fighting or demanding things from me, but I'm not used to being left alone to think. So that made me feel a little anxiety.

I turned up the music so I wouldn't think much, but some music brought back memories and so did some places I drove by. Those memories were hard to have resurface. I tried quickly to push them back to the far back of my mind to keep them hidden like I've done for years. Because that is safer...

Then a scene from a show that I watched earlier today popped into my head. The girl had been sexually assaulted. She was embarrassed and felt ashamed. She felt if anyone knew they would see her as unfit for her job (she was a police officer) and see her as a victim. She was told that by not speaking out about it, that she was a victim. But that if she pressed charges, spoke out about it then she wouldn't be a victim any more. She would be taking back the power.

This made me think a lot. All these years of being ashamed, feeling guilt, and embarrassment. All these years of hiding what I went through. I didn't allow myself to heal. It is all still buried deep inside me. It tears me apart daily. It has made me feel powerless. I'm tired of feeling powerless.

As long as I keep everything buried instead of actually healing from it, my mental health, emotional health, spiritual health, AND my physical health WILL be affected. Now it is figuring out how to heal.

I think that often times when someone is struggling with weight issues and some health issues, that they have things buried that they need to figure out how to dig back up, deal with it, heal from it, and never let it weigh them down again. It is a hard thing to do and I'm not sure yet HOW to do it.. but I think it is important enough to figure out so that I can be a healthier person on all levels.

What things do you need to work through in order to allow yourself to get healthy? I encourage you to ponder that question.

Confession Time...

I am 16 days into the 21 day fix by Beach Body. The only days that I haven't worked out are Sundays. Otherwise, without fail, I have worked out. Even if at 10 pm, I got it done. I thought it would start getting easier by now. Or that I would enjoy it by now...

I was WRONG!

I really don't like working out. I never have. During the workout I am counting down the minutes to being done. The only way I don't do that is if the exercise isn't a typical workout- such as mowing the lawn, dancing, hiking, swimming, taking a walk with the family...

In the past that would make me not want to keep doing the workouts, but guess what?! That is life! Not everything is going to be fun, enjoyable, or something we like to do. The thing is, it still HAS to be done. It is part of being a responsible adult.

Sometimes I wish I weren't a responsible adult haha

If I really don't like working out, then why do it?

Good question. I do it because if I don't then my body is more likely to get sick and be weak. I do it because health is important if I want to live a full life. I do it because I want to be healthy enough to play with my kids and then when they have kids- to run around playing with my grandkids! I want a full and happy life. I don't want to be held back by the limitations of my health. I want to race in the Spartan! I want to run 5k's or even a marathon one day. I want to travel with my husband when we are old. Heck, I want to be doing fun races together (like the Blacklight Run we did recently) when we are in our 70's!

So if in order to do all the things I dream of doing, I have to exercise regularly and eat foods that fuel my body rather than make me feel cruddy, then that is what I will do. Because hard work pays off!

What things do you dream of doing? Aren't your dreams worth the hard work?

What Is Holding You Back?

We all have a reason for not being fit and healthy. Every single one of us.

Not everyone has the same reasons. The reasons can vary quite a bit. But we all have our reasons.

The important thing is to not let our reasons be an excuse! Because no matter what, there are things we can do to be healthier.

I have struggled with quite a few reasons and find that as I work on pushing aside my excuses that I find new ones. I have never really liked to exercise. As a teen I struggled with knee pain and asthma. I was already very skinny, so why exercise? It didn't matter what I ate, I still wouldn't gain anything; so why eat healthy? I didn't get a good routine set up then and it is much harder now that I am very set in my ways.

I LOVE donuts, cake, chocolate, cookies...Like I would be happy eating them for every meal and snack. I am addicted. They emotionally make me feel "better." I have always felt crummy after eating them, but my brain was happy and so I kept eating them. Addiction to junk food- my first main reason.

Figuring out that I am quite gluten intolerant forced me to change that. It is a lot more expensive to buy pre-made gluten free junk food. And making them was time consuming and I couldn't do it without my kids knowing; which meant that I would have to share! haha So I slowly phased out a lot of that food.

Ok, now I don't have that excuse... so why do I fight being fit and healthy?

I won't bore you with each and every thing that has arisen, but the most recent one that I have realized, which I think is the root of it, is this:

I don't feel worthy of having self esteem.

If I feel good physically, am strong, have a great body from working out, great skin from eating healthy....then the natural thing would be to feel good about myself and my looks- therefore having self esteem. I have never felt worthy of that. I have many past memories of my looks being made fun of embedded into my mind. So whenever I have felt like I look good I will hear those voices telling me I am ugly, my chin is too big, my nose is huge, etc. I hear a voice saying, "How can YOU have self esteem?? You are too ugly to have self esteem!"

And this is where I am stuck. In this horrible mindset. I am afraid of looking good. I am terrified of actually thinking that I look good. And this is a crummy place to be stuck.

Am I going to let this hold me back anymore?! NO! Ok...so on the inside I am really doubting my abilities to fight this mindset... But I think the first step is to recognize what I need to work on- check! Next thing to do is to fake it till I believe it- check! I am going to say I won't let it get in my way any more. Then I will remind myself of it again in a few minutes...and then again and again until I do finally believe I am strong enough AND WORTH IT to believe I deserve self esteem. I have to do this. For me, for my husband, and for my kids. They deserve the best me that I can possibly be. And until I feel good about myself, I can't be my best.

What is holding you back? It is time to peel back the layers and work on them one by one until you finally allow yourself to get healthy!

5 Tips To Get Motivated

Some days it is just really hard to get going. Today is very much one of those days.

My 4 year old woke up because of a "sad dream" at 4 am. I had only been asleep for almost 4 hours so I just climbed into her bed so I could just go back to sleep and still have her be able to easily go back to sleep. But I don't sleep well in her bed, especially next to her- she moves constantly. So as you can imagine- I'm so very tired today that I just want to be napping.

My youngest is napping, so really I could get away with taking a nap. But then I think of all the many things that have to be done today and all the appointments and running around; and I know that this is my only chance to workout today.

After a while I was able to convince myself to get up off my bum and do the 21 Day Fix upper body workout. Doing the 30 minute workout- though exhausting and a hard workout- gave me some energy. When I was done, I wanted to burn some more calories so I got out the treadmill I bought a couple weeks ago, but hadn't actually used it.

This treadmill is a manual one that is inclined, so is a very hard workout. I lasted 10 minutes and that was with pushing it hard! I wanted to give up after only 3 minutes; which had felt like 20 haha.

My normal mindset over the years would be- I'm too tired, I'll work out tomorrow instead. Then the next day would come and I would say the same thing... It was a horrible pattern I got stuck in. I refuse to get back into that pattern again.

I have noticed this past week and a half that if I am tired and don't want to exercise, that if I just make myself get started then I will gain the energy to keep going.

If you find yourself not wanting to workout, try these tips:

#1- Start with something small- even just doing a warm-up. That should get your body and mind ready for a full workout. So don't focus on doing a 30 minute workout, just focus on a few short minutes at a time, then add another minute or 2 as you go. Soon you will be at 30!

#2- Workout with a video- I find that if I am just trying to come up with exercises to do rather than following someone's routine, then I don't do as much or work as hard.

#3- Make a list of the reason why you want to workout and refer to it as a motivator for pushing yourself to workout. (my biggest motivator is that my brother is driving over 12 hours to come do the Spartan Race with me this summer, so I HAVE to get in shape for it!)

#4- Bribe yourself!! Pick a treat that you will reward yourself with if you workout- "If I workout 30 minutes then I can sit and watch a tv show for 30 minutes." or "If I workout 3 times this week then I get to have a frozen yogurt." I am sure you can come up with some great motivators. Bribery works for kids, I think all parents are guilty of bribery to some degree haha, so why not use it on ourselves?!?! Just make sure to go for healthy rewards so that you don't undo all your hard work. (a little chocolate here and there is fine...and GOOD in my opinion haha, but not a bag full of chocolate!)

#5- Join a team that you check in with. There are so many different online resources for this. My husband and I are part of the Beach Body community. We have a coach who motivates us. There are challenges we can be a part of to win prizes and be held accountable for exercising and eating right. That has been helping both of us a lot!

Have you found something that helps get you motivated to get your workout in? Leave a comment below. I would love to hear your tips too!

I CAN Do This

A few years back, when I weighed 50 lbs more, I had friends who made rather discouraging comments. One, who considered me his best friend, actually said to me, "You just need to accept the fact that you are fat and always will be." Another "good" friend would often tell me I was fat and that she loved me anyway. My in-laws also often made comments. The one that still sticks in my mind- because it hurt the most- was when we were trying to take a family picture. I set up the camera with a timer then was going to go join them. One of them made the comment that I was too big to fit in the picture.

Comments like those hurt. They hurt bad. And they don't help at all! During the time these comments were made, my husband and I were working hard to lose weight. We had a Biggest Loser competition going on between us. We were both losing weight (definitely not as fast as the people on the show though!). No matter how hard I tried, the comments were said. And even when they weren't being said to me- they were still stuck in my mind. So I gave up. My closest friends didn't believe in me, so why try any more? I figured I would always be fat.

Their words still often come to my mind, but now instead of letting them make me crawl back into my tub of chocolate ice cream- I just tell myself, "I am going to prove them wrong!" Course I already have. I have lost 54 lbs already! I am proud of that. Sure, I am not skinny like I was back in high school, but guess what?! I wasn't healthy when I was skinny in high school! I want to be healthy and I am on my way there.

Now I have a great support group. I think that is why this time I will stick with it. I have done 30 minutes or more of exercise every day this week (Monday through Saturday) and I WILL keep going.

If you are on your journey to getting healthy, make sure that you have a good support group and do your best to tune out the ones who will put you down and make you feel less than you are. Because YOU are amazing. YOU are capable of getting healthy. And YOU are worth the time and effort! I truly believe that about you.

Setting A Good Example

I think one of the best things about taking charge of my health is the example it sets to my kids. We have a lot of health problems on both my side and my husband's side of the family. So to show our kids how to grow up making healthy choices will hopefully help them not end up with diabetes or heart disease (which run in our family).

I love that my 3 year old son begs for salad. He absolutely LOVES it. There have been nights where I didn't put a salad out with dinner and he got upset and said, "Want salad!" I love that my 4 year old will ask if she can have a healthy treat and that my 8 year old asks to exercise with us. Our 13 year old is wanting me to start jogging with her and she wants to do the Spartan Race with me this summer.

Last night, my hubby and I did our 21 Day Fix workout (we were on the pilates one....but really should've been called "intense ab workout"!). Our 8 year old daughter ended up joining in. Then once the 30 minute workout was over, she begged to do another one! We were hurting so bad. Our abs were on fire! But how could I turn down my daughter who wanted to do something good for her body? So we did the 10 min Ab Fix.... OW! Over 400 sit ups later... our abs were even MORE on fire! She asked to do more, but it was close to 10 pm and I really don't think my body could've done any more haha. But she got up this morning and worked out with her dad again and she can't wait for tomorrow since she has no school and can workout with me.

I love that my kids are getting excited about working out. I love that they are noticing our food changes and asking questions about it and asking if they can eat the way we are. I told my 8 year old she can eat the 21 Day Fix diet if she wants BUT she doesn't need to measure because she should eat what her body is telling her to. I don't want her to feel she needs to restrict her intake right now; just listen to her body. And that she doesn't need to diet, but eating healthy foods is a good idea.

As a parent, it is so important to set a good example to our kids. Afterall, where else are they going to learn good habits?

I Was Craving Jogging..... WHAT?!?!?!

I don't know what to do with all of this new-found energy! Today I just had so much energy pent up inside that I went to a local state park and jogged almost 2 miles on a very hilly path through the woods. I am not a runner. I normally am not even a jogger. But today I was seriously craving a jog.

It was so beautiful out and peaceful. I listened to music, breathed in the fresh air, and pushed my body to it's limit. And it felt GOOD! I am not even sure how to process this haha! This isn't the me I've known for 33 years. This isn't the me that I was even a few days ago. This commitment to a healthier me has really changed a lot in such a short time.

I am eating healthier, I am exercising no matter how badly I don't want to, I am focused on bettering myself. The results so far in just a few short days? I am happier. I had been trying to get out of a depression funk for months. I am finally out of it. I am already feeling more confident in myself and having self esteem. I have gone my whole life with barely ever feeling good about myself and I feel better about myself right now than I ever have before. I feel good. And saying it makes me feel even better!

I am even seeing physical changes already too. Which is just crazy.

All it takes it making a choice. Not a doing something because your doctor told you to, your spouse told you to, a friend told you to... But because YOU decided in your heart, mind, and soul that you want to be a better you. Every time I have tried to get healthier, it was half-hearted. This time my whole heart is in it. It helps that I have a support system to help me, but I am not doing FOR them, I am doing it for ME. For the first time in a long time, I am excited about life and the future.

Day 3- Things Are Looking Up

When I woke up today, I didn't want to move. My muscles were tense and sore and I again, figured staying in bed would be nice. But I had scheduled a chiropractor appointment this morning, so had to get up. Once I started moving, my body felt a little better, but still very sore. I couldn't imagine getting through my exercise routine today.

At my appointment, my chiropractor told me of a supplement (creatine monohydrate) that he uses to lessen the affects of the sore muscles. So after I finished my appointment I went and bought some. I wasn't about to try and do my workout for the day without it! :) I got home and mixed it in with my Shakeology for my breakfast then soon after I started my workout.

My husband and I decided to do the workout together today since he has the day off. I am sure we looked absolutely ridiculous... two adults struggling to do the moves the "correct" way, moaning and groaning as we do the simpler/modified versions. We seriously both made pained sounds throughout. There were times I actually collapsed onto the mat during the 20 second rest periods and really didn't want to get back up. Of course my friend's pug (we are dog-sitting today) thought that was great and came over to nuzzle her nose into my face/neck. Then she and our dog fought for our attention as we were exercising! Are you envisioning this? If you are, then I hope you are enjoying a good laugh! :)

On today's workout, the quote they had written on the chalkboard said,

" If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up!"

I thought about how many times I have started an exercise program, only to give up a few days in because the pain was too much. If I just push through then I can get past the pain, strengthen my body, and not have to go through the excruciating pain part again! This time I am sticking with it. I have my husband and friend who are my "coaches" to keep me going and keep me accountable. They encourage me and help me through the hard parts. I think that is why this time I won't give up- this time I am not just relying on myself, but having encouragement to help me through.

I hope that through sharing my struggles and how I worked through them, that maybe I can help others who are going through it too. Taking control of your health is important. I am 33 and just starting to finally realize how important it truly is.

Also, cute dogs and laughs are important so I made this :)

Day 2- I Just Want To Cry...

I will be totally honest...I just wasn't feeling up to doing much of anything today. I didn't want to eat the 21 Day Fix diet, I didn't want to exercise, I just wanted to lay in my cozy bed eating popcorn and chocolate all day. I was so worn out and sore today that I could hardly move. I only got up because I had to take my toddlers to the doctor. I wasn't looking forward to the day at all.

My hamstrings, quads, and calves are so sore that to go from standing to sitting is EXCRUCIATING!!! Just barely squatting my legs to go to sit gives me pain. The top of my abs are insanely sore too. Proof of how out of shape I am!

As much as I didn't want to eat right and exercise, I convinced myself to do it. Throughout the day when I would see food I knew I couldn't eat, I would have to seriously force myself not to pig out on it. Then when I got the kids down for their nap and I knew I needed to exercise while I could, I really had to make myself do it. It wasn't easy. I had to really push through the workout and modify the moves like crazy because my body just couldn't do it today. But I did do it!

One thing I loved that they said on the workout video was, "It won't get any easier. You get better." That really made me think. Not just about exercise, but life in general.

In my first post I said,

"Health isn't just about what the scale says. Health encompasses physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well being. I want to be healthy in all aspects."

So this is where I am addressing the other parts of my health. Life is hard. Parenting is HARD. It won't get any easier...but I will get better. Just like in exercise- getting through the trial may start out rough and painful, it may feel like it will never be over and that I won't live through it; but I will get stronger. The trials WILL make me stronger. I truly believe that. I just need to remind myself of it more often :)

Day 1- 21 Day Fix

I bought the PiYo challenge pack and my husband bought the 21 Day Fix challenge pack. I was planning on just alternating between both of our exercise programs and not really do a whole lot food wise, except make healthier choices. My husband and friend (who are my coaches on BeachBody) have been encouraging me to start the 21 Day Fix- exercise AND food. I really, really, REALLY didn't want to do the food part.

Let me explain why...

I struggle with fatigue and so the thought of putting much effort into what I eat is just overwhelming! To measure things out in the containers that come with the kit (it comes with color coded containers. Each color is a different food group. You figure out by your weight how many of each you can eat each day) and only be able to eat a certain amount of each container each day, just doesn't appeal to my tired brain. I already have enough on my plate of taking care of my 4 kids and the house AND fitting in a workout each day.

BUT today I decided that I am going to give it a try. WHY?? I am asking myself the same question! HAHA!

Ok, so the reason I am doing it is because I want to feel better and I want to learn portion control. It helps me get the correct amount of nutrients and amounts of food. I don't have to count calories (although I am going to for the first couple days just so I can convince my brain that I am indeed getting enough food into my body), just fill containers.

My breakfast was chocolate Shakeology with 8 oz of unsweetened almond milk and a small banana. That left me feeling full and gave me the energy to do my workout.

My lunch was 2 corn tortillas, 3 oz of chicken, and then I filled the green container with a mix of romain lettuce and grape tomatoes, with Tabasco sauce (thank goodness for unlimited hot sauce being allowed!!). It was very yummy, but I will admit it is less than I am used to eating for lunch. Normally I will eat 4 tacos with meat or beans, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and hot sauce. So cutting it down is going to be an adjustment.

Looks yummy right?!


I had already made the mind change that I wanted to eat healthier foods and cut out sugar, so that makes this a bit easier. It is the portion control that will be hardest. Like I mentioned in my first post- I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted and not gain anything. I still haven't been able to change that mind set! That is why me doing the 21 day fix is so important. It will train my body and mind to eat the correct portions.

Now onto the exercise... (I plugged my kids in... one on my phone and one on the computer, so that I could exercise in the morning rather than after they go to bed tonight)

OH MY GOODNESS!!! Day 1 kicked my behind! I am insanely out of shape. I had a big surgery back in December and wasn't allowed to lift anything at all for 8 weeks after and then for several more weeks I was only supposed to lift 15 pounds. I lost what little muscle I had and what little strength I had, so my body is weak beyond weak. I started out being able to copy the exercise moves exactly, but after about 5 or 6 minutes my body was exhausted. I had to do the modified moves, but I kept my body moving no matter how hard.

I used to give up if I couldn't keep up with an exercise video, but today I didn't. Because it is ok if I can't keep up. It is ok that it is too hard. That doesn't make me a failure! What would make me a failure is if I just gave up and didn't try. So I pushed through. I was sweating, my heart was racing, and my muscles were burning. At a couple parts my feet even started going numb. I made it through the 30 minute workout. And tomorrow I will be a tiny stronger and be able to do a tiny bit better. As I continue to do this each day (with the exception of Sunday...because that is my day of rest), I will get stronger and be able to eventually stop doing the modified versions.

Here is the crazy thing. After my workout was over, I sat down for a few minutes. After the brief rest, I had energy! I feel like running around and getting stuff done. I actually feel really good! Before I exercised I was tired and had to convince myself to do it. It truly is worth pushing yourself to exercise. It really will give you the boost you need.

Something New

As I mentioned in my last post, I struggle with sticking to any kind of diet/exercise plan. Now that I have been working to change my mindset, I am starting a new venture to help kick me into gear. I am trying out Shakeology by BeachBody. I also just got the BeachBody PiYo exercise program too. My husband is doing the Shakeology with the 21 Day Fix program. He really wants me to join him on the 21 day fix... I am deciding if I will go that route first.

I don't get enough nutrients, I never have. I may be eating healthier, but I definitely am not getting every nutrient I should be. That is why I finally decided that I should try the Shakeology. I am curious to see if getting the nutrients that I need will help with my chronic fatigue and general feeling of wellness. I will update on here about how my health is doing as I use the shake and the exercise program. (to learn more about Shakeology click here)

This morning I drank the strawberry Shakeology for breakfast, then did a 35 minute workout. The PiYo kicked my behind!!!! I am so out of shape, it's not even funny. Ok, so my kids think it is funny...but I don't! They had a good laugh as I struggled to do planks and push-ups. Little stinkers ;)

As I mentioned, my husband is also doing the Shakeology and the 21 Day Fix. He will be blogging about his journey on his website Cut The Crap. (just click on the name of the blog and it will take you there). He has a bunch of blog posts from years back and just started up again. Lots of good reads on there if you want to check it out!

In my journey to become a healthy mom, I hope that my kids will see my example and apply it to their lives. If a healthy lifestyle is instilled young, then it will be easier for them when they are my age to live healthy. I have always dreaded exercise and dreaded watching what I eat. It has take me far too long to finally get to where I am today. My kids deserve to have a healthy, active mom. And I am ready to make myself be that mom. Plus, I have got to get my body ready for the Spartan Race so I don't let my brother down!! :)

What have you found that keeps you on the healthy path?

Will Power Shmill-power

I have struggled for years with actually sticking to a healthier diet. I would try really hard to eat healthy and all that lead to was me sneaking junk food. I would go grocery shopping and buy donuts, which I would scarf on my way home and then hide the evidence. I would buy several different kinds of candy and hide them in my room so that whenever I was stressed (which happened more than once a day), I would hide out in my bedroom closet and eat a whole bunch.

Mentally, I would feel satisfied. Physically, I would feel like crap. I would then feel down that I ate it and that would make me feel like indulging even more. It was a vicious cycle. I would crave carbs and sugar like no other. I would get irritable if I didn't eat it. It is like a drug! I seriously calm down as I am eating the junk, even though it physically made me feel miserable. (the image that goes through my mind is like on movies or tv shows when someone shoots up some drugs...the look on their face as their eyes roll back, content with the high...that is me when I bite into chocolate...or whatever sugary carb sweet I am craving!)

I have struggled for years with pain in my bones/joints in my hands, legs, feet. I have also struggled with brain fog and major fatigue. A neurologist ran every test and couldn't figure out why these symptoms were happening. So of course I got the age old, "Your symptoms are due to depression" reasoning. Really? Was it that way? Or was it that I am depressed because of my pain, brain fog, and fatigue???

Shortly after seeing the neurologist, I saw a chiropractor who is also a friend. He suggested going off of gluten because in some people, gluten can cause inflammation. I had tried in the past and it was just too hard (even though I have 2 kids who are gluten free so already was cooking that way). But he said something that clicked, "Do you want to eat something that tastes REALLY good and feel like crap afterward? Or do you want to feel better?!" He then said that he doesn't believe in will power. It has to be an actual change of mind because it is too easy to give in when you are just trying to have will power.

I thought a lot about what he said. Did I want to eat whatever I wanted and feel like crap? Or did I want to feel better? I decided right then and there that I truly wanted to feel better. I stopped eating gluten and haven't gone back. That was almost a year ago. My pain has gone away and only come back if I am contaminated. My migraines are gone and my brain is working better (but my sleep deprivation is affecting that right now!).

I am not writing this to say that you should all go gluten free. My point is that YOU have to change your thinking and CHOOSE that you want to feel better before you will be able to stick with anything. Do you want to feel better??

I am still struggling with some things. I still was eating ice cream on occasion and chocolate, cupcakes whenever I got the chance... I noticed I felt worse after eating them. This week I made the decision that I am going to cut way back on my sugar intake. I haven't even had any this week except for honey!! Yay me!

But how am I doing that when the cravings have always been so strong? I found a healthy substitute.

This is a homemade chocolate that is actually good for you (with a strawberry dipped in it)! I love it. I actually feel good after eating it and satisfied.
All you do is melt coconut oil and put it in a blender with an equal amount of cocoa powder. Then add honey to sweeten. (Do not try to use any non-liquid sweetener...I tried xylitol and sugar and it was awful. It separates and is nasty!) After it is blended well, you can pour it over nuts or just by itself onto wax paper or parchment paper. Then put in the fridge or freezer to harden. At times I have added peanut butter to it. My parents and brother have said it is really good with nuts mixed in, I will be trying that way next. It is also amazing for dipping strawberries in! I have also sliced bananas up and froze the slices, then dipped in the chocolate. It instantly hardens. Just make sure whatever type you make- you store it in the fridge or freezer because coconut oil melts easily. (With the peanut butter one, I poured it onto parchment paper on a big cookie sheet. After it hardened, I cut it with a knife into smaller chunks, then am storing it in a baggy in the fridge)

Coconut oil has countless benefits, so it is a guilt free treat. I found that it is so satiating due to the coconut oil, that I don't feel the need to eat as much as I would normal chocolate.

I have made my choice that I want to feel better and keep adding to it. For me, it was too overwhelming to cut all my food vices out at one time so am slowly phasing them out. But at least I am moving in the right direction. I want to have energy. I want to feel good. I want to be a healthy momma! Plus, I told my brother I would do the Spartan Race with him this year so need to get my body ready for that!

Are you ready to feel better??

A Little About My Journey Thus Far

For my first post, I want to share a bit about me.

I am 33 years old, married and have 4 kids (ages 13, 8, 4, and 3). That is the me now.... but I would like to go back a little further...hope that I don't bore you!

My whole life I was thin. I was actually teased in high school for being so skinny. I had girls tell me, "you are so skinny you make me sick." How nice, right? I could eat anything and everything (and I did) and not gain a pound. I remember working at Burger King and my manager would let me eat whatever I wanted. In one shift I would eat a whole basket of chicken tenders, a basket of onion rings, a couple of whopper jr's, french toast sticks, tons of sugary soda... It was sickening really.

Then when I was pregnant with my first child I finally gained weight.... a LOT of weight. I went from 110 lbs to 185 lbs! After she was born, I stayed around 150. It took a couple years, but I finally got back down to the 120's. I felt pretty good and actually confident about my body. Then I had my 2nd child. After she was born, I worked so hard to get healthy. My husband and I joined a gym and I worked out 2 hours a day, 6 days a week. I ate only 1500 calories a day. I was doing more for my health than I ever had before. But I gained weight. A LOT of weight.

This is me in 2008 (my 2nd child was 1 1/2 years old). BIG difference right? Yes, pun was intended ;)

It turned out that my thyroid was all out of whack so it didn't matter what I was doing, I just kept gaining weight. It took a little while to get my thyroid under control and I slowly lost some of the weight. In the picture above, I was at my very heaviest weight- 210 lbs.

I have since had 2 more kids. My youngest just turned 3 and I am still trying to finish losing the weight I gained back in 2007. I am down to about 158 right now. I hadn't been this weight in about 7 years. I still would like to lose some more weight, but more importantly- I want to get healthy. Health isn't just about what the scale says. Health encompasses physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well being. I want to be healthy in all aspects.

There is much more about me and how I got to where I am now, but I will save it for another time. I hope that as I share my struggles and successes that it may help others in their journey. I know that doing this blog will also benefit me. It will keep me concentrating on my health more. I hope you will join me on my journey!