970 minutes.
That is the amount of minutes scheduled weekly for appointments (I include church, church activities, and extra curriculars in that). Then add roughly 580 minutes of drive time to all of those appointments. I am not including doctor appointments that might pop up. This is a normal week. These appointments happen EVERY SINGLE WEEK.
1,550 minutes or almost 26 hours are spoken for every week.
Now I am adding in an exercise class 3 days a week. Which is another 180 minutes plus 60 minutes drive time. (but this is something I really need. My "me" time to help me on my journey to be healthier.)
Almost 30 hours of each week is planned. Then to think of the time spent grocery shopping, making meals, helping kids with homework, cleaning the house... Can I even begin to estimate those minutes/hours????
*sigh*
I am EXHAUSTED!!
My health problems cause me great fatigue rather easily. So when I am busy like this, I get extremely burnt out. This results in me having a couple days or more where I just can't get up and do as much. My body just shuts down and I can barely get out of bed. Due to that, I have become more of a homebody than I ever was before. These past couple days where I didn't have anything too pressing to do, I didn't fight the fatigue. I just let my body rest and catch up. (Can we say Netflix binge?!?!)
It is hard enough to keep up with all the duties of being a mom. Then to add health problems just really makes it rough. As a mom, though, I feel the need to put on a front. To pretend I have it all together and just fake that I can keep up. Put a smile on my face and act like I can handle it all. Because there are so many other moms out there who have even more to do and they don't complain! But I think the reality is that the other moms probably feel just as frazzled as I do. We all try so hard to put this fake "put together mom" front, "super mom" front, that we over do it.
I don't mean to say dads don't have it hard. My husband is plenty busy between work, school, and being a dad. But there is something so incredibly draining as a mom to be driving kids around (especially when you have little ones you have to get in and out of the car seats over and over, and take kids multiple potty breaks when out and about), dealing with the kids 24 hours a day, the fighting, the constant redirecting the kids to do what you have asked them to do, riding the emotional roller coaster of each different kids temperament and emotions... Mom's rarely get a break from the kids, especially a mental break. Where dads tend to get to go focus on work and have a nice, quiet commute. (Same goes for stay at home dads. They know just how stay at home moms feel!)
I love my life as a mom. (most of the time...) This is what I always dreamed of having. But at this point in time, due to my health, it is just hard to do it all. At this point in time, FATIGUE is part of who I am. I have some good days, but more bad days than good. But I am done with feeling guilty for this being who I am. This may not be how I always am (I truly hope to find an alternative medicine to help my health conditions so I don't have to live with this the rest of my life), but right now this is who I am and that is not something that I need to feel guilty about.
So on my good days I will do everything I am able to do. On my bad days, I will do what little bit I can manage to do and just be grateful to be alive and for having a wonderful, understanding husband. I was once told by a friend that everything has its season. This is the season I am in and I will find joy in it the best I can. That doesn't mean that I will give up on trying to improve, but it means I won't be so hard on myself for not being able to do certain things at this time.
Showing posts with label stay at home mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stay at home mom. Show all posts
Saturday, February 13, 2016
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Time For a New Me
Yesterday as I was just going about my day, I looked down at my hand and in the middle of my palm was a small, round puncture wound that was partially healed. I saw it and felt confused and asked myself "where did I get that from?" Then I heard these words clearly in my mind:
I have been struggling for a while now with many things. I joke that I have been going through a midlife crisis, but truly that is how it feels. I have spent my entire adult life as a wife and mother so have never figured out who I am. I have been feeling so lost and questioning everything I have ever believed, everything about who I thought I was/am, and who I want to be. I have gone as far as questioning music and movies, trying to figure out what I actually do like verses what I liked due to other peoples opinions.
I am unsure if this is a normal thing that moms go through, but I do know that it has caused me to spiral downward.
This truly spoke to me. I am about to turn 34 years old and I am more lost than I have ever been. I spend my life taking care of everyone else and rarely spend time taking care of myself. I have come to realize that taking care of myself doesn't just mean the basics; shower, do my hair/make-up, eat,sleep. It also means doing things that I enjoy and taking care of my emotional well being. I have found that the number one thing that I need to do is to work on my self esteem.
From the time I was young I have seen ugliness when I look in the mirror. On a very rare occasion I will actually feel good about my looks, but it is so extremely rare. There have actually been times when I didn't go to school, church, or a social gathering because I have felt too ugly to be seen by anyone. I have major body issues. Part of the ugliness I see when I look in the mirror is fat. Realistically, I know I am not fat. The scale tells me so and my size 8 pants confirm that. But my mind still sees fat when I look in the mirror.
When I try to look at my personality I also see ugliness. I sit around wishing I could be more like other people I see. Those people who have these amazing personalities that everyone wants to be around. They are funny, good at conversation, smart, etc. And I am none of those things (in my eyes). I have a fear of talking to people because I am positive they are thinking how stupid I am or that I am boring them.
In the Garden of Gethsemane, Christ took upon himself every last sin that anyone had ever committed and ever would commit. He took them upon himself so that no one else would have to suffer for their own sins if they but repent. It wasn't just our sins that he suffered for. He also took upon himself every sorrow, pain,depression, anxiety, etc that we may face. He doesn't want us to suffer so he suffered for us. Then he died for us, that we might live again with our Father in Heaven- spotless,clean, perfect. When going through a difficult time, it is always most comforting to talk to someone who understands, who has gone through it. So it only makes sense that Christ be the one to pour my heart out to.
In doing so, I have come to realize that I have a lot of work to do on myself. A LOT. I need to take the time to figure out who I am, build up my self esteem (SELF esteem...meaning not attempting to get it from other people's compliments, but from my own feelings of myself), and push myself to follow my dreams.
We recently were given a bedroom set (we have never had matching anything for a bedroom. In fact our bedroom was full of 6 different bookshelves to organize the randomness we end up storing in our room) which meant we completely redid our room. Now it is feeling like a real bedroom and is more calm to be in. In doing so I decided that I was going to make myself my own area. I have a bulletin board in front of my desk to put inspirational quotes and pictures on. My desk is clear so I can sit at it to write my poetry and music. It is MY special space that I can sit and work on ME. My one place in the house where I can feel at peace, content, and be able to focus.
I have my Spartan Medal and picture after the race hung up to remind me of what I am capable of accomplishing. My flower fairy that my mom made me, which not only makes me think of her, but also when I look at it I feel happy and free (emotionally). Pictures of my family and Christ, to keep me focused on the most important things. Various quotes, which I will keep adding to. "Wake up and Live" is probably my favorite saying I put up. I feel like I have been going through life without truly living. I dread the daily routines and responsibilities. I just go through the motions. It is time for me to wake up and live!
I am excited and scared to go on this new path. My life circumstances may be the same, but I am going to be going through a lot of changes. I fear failure. I fear having self esteem because I figure those around me are thinking, "How could that ugly girl have self esteem?". I fear people not liking me or accepting who I truly am. But I am going to push past it. I imagine a lot of prayer will be involved and a lot of stumbling. But I have to do this. I cannot go the rest of my life wandering aimlessly, lost and confused. I used to have dreams that I wanted to pursue and it is time to pursue them once again, but this time not give up. A new Katie is being born.
"Remember the nail prints in my hands."
I have been struggling for a while now with many things. I joke that I have been going through a midlife crisis, but truly that is how it feels. I have spent my entire adult life as a wife and mother so have never figured out who I am. I have been feeling so lost and questioning everything I have ever believed, everything about who I thought I was/am, and who I want to be. I have gone as far as questioning music and movies, trying to figure out what I actually do like verses what I liked due to other peoples opinions.
I am unsure if this is a normal thing that moms go through, but I do know that it has caused me to spiral downward.
"Remember the nail prints in my hands."
This truly spoke to me. I am about to turn 34 years old and I am more lost than I have ever been. I spend my life taking care of everyone else and rarely spend time taking care of myself. I have come to realize that taking care of myself doesn't just mean the basics; shower, do my hair/make-up, eat,sleep. It also means doing things that I enjoy and taking care of my emotional well being. I have found that the number one thing that I need to do is to work on my self esteem.
From the time I was young I have seen ugliness when I look in the mirror. On a very rare occasion I will actually feel good about my looks, but it is so extremely rare. There have actually been times when I didn't go to school, church, or a social gathering because I have felt too ugly to be seen by anyone. I have major body issues. Part of the ugliness I see when I look in the mirror is fat. Realistically, I know I am not fat. The scale tells me so and my size 8 pants confirm that. But my mind still sees fat when I look in the mirror.
When I try to look at my personality I also see ugliness. I sit around wishing I could be more like other people I see. Those people who have these amazing personalities that everyone wants to be around. They are funny, good at conversation, smart, etc. And I am none of those things (in my eyes). I have a fear of talking to people because I am positive they are thinking how stupid I am or that I am boring them.
"Remember the nail prints in my hands."
In the Garden of Gethsemane, Christ took upon himself every last sin that anyone had ever committed and ever would commit. He took them upon himself so that no one else would have to suffer for their own sins if they but repent. It wasn't just our sins that he suffered for. He also took upon himself every sorrow, pain,depression, anxiety, etc that we may face. He doesn't want us to suffer so he suffered for us. Then he died for us, that we might live again with our Father in Heaven- spotless,clean, perfect. When going through a difficult time, it is always most comforting to talk to someone who understands, who has gone through it. So it only makes sense that Christ be the one to pour my heart out to.
In doing so, I have come to realize that I have a lot of work to do on myself. A LOT. I need to take the time to figure out who I am, build up my self esteem (SELF esteem...meaning not attempting to get it from other people's compliments, but from my own feelings of myself), and push myself to follow my dreams.
We recently were given a bedroom set (we have never had matching anything for a bedroom. In fact our bedroom was full of 6 different bookshelves to organize the randomness we end up storing in our room) which meant we completely redid our room. Now it is feeling like a real bedroom and is more calm to be in. In doing so I decided that I was going to make myself my own area. I have a bulletin board in front of my desk to put inspirational quotes and pictures on. My desk is clear so I can sit at it to write my poetry and music. It is MY special space that I can sit and work on ME. My one place in the house where I can feel at peace, content, and be able to focus.
I have my Spartan Medal and picture after the race hung up to remind me of what I am capable of accomplishing. My flower fairy that my mom made me, which not only makes me think of her, but also when I look at it I feel happy and free (emotionally). Pictures of my family and Christ, to keep me focused on the most important things. Various quotes, which I will keep adding to. "Wake up and Live" is probably my favorite saying I put up. I feel like I have been going through life without truly living. I dread the daily routines and responsibilities. I just go through the motions. It is time for me to wake up and live!
I am excited and scared to go on this new path. My life circumstances may be the same, but I am going to be going through a lot of changes. I fear failure. I fear having self esteem because I figure those around me are thinking, "How could that ugly girl have self esteem?". I fear people not liking me or accepting who I truly am. But I am going to push past it. I imagine a lot of prayer will be involved and a lot of stumbling. But I have to do this. I cannot go the rest of my life wandering aimlessly, lost and confused. I used to have dreams that I wanted to pursue and it is time to pursue them once again, but this time not give up. A new Katie is being born.
Friday, July 24, 2015
Scales Aren't the Only Things That Lie...
It is crazy the tricks that our minds play on us. When I look in the mirror I still tend to see a fat girl looking back at me. I believe what the mirror is showing me. I then feel down and frustrated that my work is for nothing. Which makes me sneak junk food and not work out as often as I should. I believe the lies the mirror is telling me.
The other day I went to my brother's house. His teenage daughter gave me a hug and she said something like, "woah, that is so weird. You are so skinny!" I was caught off guard! It made me feel good and also made me wonder if that was true. Was I really thin now? But the girl I see in the mirror isn't thin...
Today was a really rough day with the kids. They were fighting with each other, treating me poorly, etc. I was in a horrible mood and wanted to run away. By the time I got the two youngest to bed I had already planned I was just going to leave and walk for a couple hours by myself (tempted to not go back home for a long long long LONG time...). I had my shoes on and I was ready to leave after I tucked in my 4 year old. My husband peaked his head into the room when I was reading her a book and asked if I wanted to go for a walk with him when I was done. I decided it would be less lonely to run away if he were with me =)
We normally only walk about a mile, but with how I was feeling tonight we just kept walking. We ended up walking 3.8 miles (speed walking a lot of the time).
Ok, so how does this have anything at all to do with the first part of my blog??? I'll tell you...
When I was feeling so down and angry, I was feeling crummy about myself. I saw the fat ugly girl in the mirror. At first on our walk I still felt that way, but by mile 1 I was starting to feel a little better. I had emotionally cooled down. I was enjoying my husband's company. The endorphins were flowing. I went to look at the ground and saw this small body. My first thought was of confusion. Whose body was that??? Because it couldn't possibly be mine! I realized that the mirror had been lying and that because I have been stressed and not exercising as much as I should, my depression started kicking in. And when depressed I tend to believe the negative over the positive.
I may not be at my goal for how I want my body to look. I still have toning to do, I still have strength to gain, but I need to quit believing the lies that I am still the 210 lb fat girl I was just a few years ago. I have lost 64 lbs!!! I just walked 3.8 miles without getting out of breath and could've easily walked further. I am healthier than I have ever been and will continue to get better. And for now on, I will call the mirror out on it's lies and let myself see my progress and be proud of how far I have come.
The other day I went to my brother's house. His teenage daughter gave me a hug and she said something like, "woah, that is so weird. You are so skinny!" I was caught off guard! It made me feel good and also made me wonder if that was true. Was I really thin now? But the girl I see in the mirror isn't thin...
Today was a really rough day with the kids. They were fighting with each other, treating me poorly, etc. I was in a horrible mood and wanted to run away. By the time I got the two youngest to bed I had already planned I was just going to leave and walk for a couple hours by myself (tempted to not go back home for a long long long LONG time...). I had my shoes on and I was ready to leave after I tucked in my 4 year old. My husband peaked his head into the room when I was reading her a book and asked if I wanted to go for a walk with him when I was done. I decided it would be less lonely to run away if he were with me =)
We normally only walk about a mile, but with how I was feeling tonight we just kept walking. We ended up walking 3.8 miles (speed walking a lot of the time).
Ok, so how does this have anything at all to do with the first part of my blog??? I'll tell you...
When I was feeling so down and angry, I was feeling crummy about myself. I saw the fat ugly girl in the mirror. At first on our walk I still felt that way, but by mile 1 I was starting to feel a little better. I had emotionally cooled down. I was enjoying my husband's company. The endorphins were flowing. I went to look at the ground and saw this small body. My first thought was of confusion. Whose body was that??? Because it couldn't possibly be mine! I realized that the mirror had been lying and that because I have been stressed and not exercising as much as I should, my depression started kicking in. And when depressed I tend to believe the negative over the positive.
I may not be at my goal for how I want my body to look. I still have toning to do, I still have strength to gain, but I need to quit believing the lies that I am still the 210 lb fat girl I was just a few years ago. I have lost 64 lbs!!! I just walked 3.8 miles without getting out of breath and could've easily walked further. I am healthier than I have ever been and will continue to get better. And for now on, I will call the mirror out on it's lies and let myself see my progress and be proud of how far I have come.
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
My 21 Day Fix Results
This past week has been a bit crazy! Sorry for not posting.
Last week, I wrote about how I slipped on a toy and hurt my leg. It got worse, so I finally went to a doctor. Luckily it wasn't broken, but my fibula had a contusion. So she told me not to exercise my leg at all and let it rest. I had to modify my workouts and only workout my abs and upper body, but I still stuck with it!
Monday we had our weigh-in. We completed the 21 Day Fix. I was disappointed that I didn't lose as many inches in the past week, but with my injury I expected that. I did lose 2 lbs in the last week though!
Here is my before and after picture for the 21 day fix:
9 1/2 inches lost and just over 4 lbs in only 21 days is definitely something to be proud of, and I am. But most importantly, I am getting stronger and healthier. I am going to keep up with the regimen. This wasn't just a "quick fix" for me, this was to jumpstart my new healthy lifestyle.
If you would like to start a healthier lifestyle and join me on this journey, contact me at journeytoahealthymomma@gmail.com and I will help you find what can work best for your situation.
To order the 21 day fix program (or any other of Beach Body's great programs) CLICK HERE
Last week, I wrote about how I slipped on a toy and hurt my leg. It got worse, so I finally went to a doctor. Luckily it wasn't broken, but my fibula had a contusion. So she told me not to exercise my leg at all and let it rest. I had to modify my workouts and only workout my abs and upper body, but I still stuck with it!
Monday we had our weigh-in. We completed the 21 Day Fix. I was disappointed that I didn't lose as many inches in the past week, but with my injury I expected that. I did lose 2 lbs in the last week though!
Here is my before and after picture for the 21 day fix:
9 1/2 inches lost and just over 4 lbs in only 21 days is definitely something to be proud of, and I am. But most importantly, I am getting stronger and healthier. I am going to keep up with the regimen. This wasn't just a "quick fix" for me, this was to jumpstart my new healthy lifestyle.
If you would like to start a healthier lifestyle and join me on this journey, contact me at journeytoahealthymomma@gmail.com and I will help you find what can work best for your situation.
To order the 21 day fix program (or any other of Beach Body's great programs) CLICK HERE
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Stupid Mistake
This morning I was doing good, getting things done, felt pretty good. I drank my Shakeology and put my son down for his nap. I was all pumped to go work out so started to head to the living room....when I stepped right on a toy, which slid across the linoleum; my foot went with it. My leg twisted and my body fell to the ground. I hit my ankle, hip and wrist on the floor, plus was in pain up my leg from twisting. As soon as it happened and I felt the pain, my first thought was, "DANGIT!!! How am I going to workout now?!?!" Which is funny since I really don't enjoy working out... but I love how I feel afterwards so was very disappointed.
After a few minutes of my 4 year old daughter comforting me and making sure I was ok, I was able to get up and hobble to my room to lay down.
Very quickly the disappointment of not getting to workout really got to me. After laying down working on things on my computer for a while, I found some hidden gummy candies and ate them- because that is my stupid habit that I fall back on when I am upset.
BIG MISTAKE!
I haven't had dyes in a long time and I have barely had any sugar during this 21 day fix (just a little bit of chocolate), so my body got angry at me. I got a massive headache and felt sick. This happened within about 10 minutes of eating it. I felt very sluggish and irritable too.
Goes to show how bad junk food is for my body and mind! It was so not worth it. I am still feeling the effects hours later. I would much rather eat healthy snacks and feel good than to feel this way again. I would much rather eat my healthy chocolate! (click here for the post with the recipe)
Although my mistake was stupid, I have learned from it. And isn't that what matters the most? :)
After a few minutes of my 4 year old daughter comforting me and making sure I was ok, I was able to get up and hobble to my room to lay down.
Very quickly the disappointment of not getting to workout really got to me. After laying down working on things on my computer for a while, I found some hidden gummy candies and ate them- because that is my stupid habit that I fall back on when I am upset.
BIG MISTAKE!
I haven't had dyes in a long time and I have barely had any sugar during this 21 day fix (just a little bit of chocolate), so my body got angry at me. I got a massive headache and felt sick. This happened within about 10 minutes of eating it. I felt very sluggish and irritable too.
Goes to show how bad junk food is for my body and mind! It was so not worth it. I am still feeling the effects hours later. I would much rather eat healthy snacks and feel good than to feel this way again. I would much rather eat my healthy chocolate! (click here for the post with the recipe)
Although my mistake was stupid, I have learned from it. And isn't that what matters the most? :)
Monday, May 18, 2015
Don't trust the scale....It likes to make you believe lies!
The scale is evil. How often have you worked hard, stepped on the scale, and saw NO difference or very little weight lost?? I swear the scale gets a laugh out of making people feel bad about themselves.
Scales tell you lies. They tell you that you have made no progress or barely any at all. They make you feel like it isn't worth putting the work in. Don't trust a scale.
So who do you trust??
Mr. Tape Measure!
Yup, he is kind. He likes to make you feel better about yourself and makes you want to keep pushing harder and harder to keep seeing results. I like him. He is my friend.
In the past 2 weeks of working hard and eating healthy (21 Day Fix by BeachBody along with Shakeology), I have only lost 2.2 lbs. Just barely over 2 lbs??? For all that work?? The scale is telling me that I am not doing good enough and should just give up.
But then my friend, Mr. Tape Measure, came along and set things straight.
Do you see why he is my friend? :)
If you truly want to see if all the work you are doing is making any difference, then PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE measure along with weighing. Yes, weighing matters too, but as you are working out you are gaining muscle. And muscle weighs more than fat. See image below (I apologize, I know it is gross looking!)
This picture speaks volumes.
Let the tape measure be your cheerleader. If I can see a dramatic drop in inches in just 2 weeks, I know you can too!! My husband lost a total of 11.75 inches these past 2 weeks!
I will share my before and after pictures next Monday since that will be day 21. Looking forward to sharing my results!
Scales tell you lies. They tell you that you have made no progress or barely any at all. They make you feel like it isn't worth putting the work in. Don't trust a scale.
So who do you trust??
Mr. Tape Measure!
Yup, he is kind. He likes to make you feel better about yourself and makes you want to keep pushing harder and harder to keep seeing results. I like him. He is my friend.
In the past 2 weeks of working hard and eating healthy (21 Day Fix by BeachBody along with Shakeology), I have only lost 2.2 lbs. Just barely over 2 lbs??? For all that work?? The scale is telling me that I am not doing good enough and should just give up.
But then my friend, Mr. Tape Measure, came along and set things straight.
"You lost an inch on your upper chest!
You lost a quarter inch on your left arm!
You lost 2.75 inches on your waist!
You lost 2 inches on your hips!
You lost half an inch on your right thigh!
You lost an inch on your left thigh!
You lost a total of 7 and a half inches!!! Way to go!"
Do you see why he is my friend? :)
If you truly want to see if all the work you are doing is making any difference, then PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE measure along with weighing. Yes, weighing matters too, but as you are working out you are gaining muscle. And muscle weighs more than fat. See image below (I apologize, I know it is gross looking!)
This picture speaks volumes.
Let the tape measure be your cheerleader. If I can see a dramatic drop in inches in just 2 weeks, I know you can too!! My husband lost a total of 11.75 inches these past 2 weeks!
I will share my before and after pictures next Monday since that will be day 21. Looking forward to sharing my results!
Thursday, May 14, 2015
What Is Holding You Back?
We all have a reason for not being fit and healthy. Every single one of us.
Not everyone has the same reasons. The reasons can vary quite a bit. But we all have our reasons.
The important thing is to not let our reasons be an excuse! Because no matter what, there are things we can do to be healthier.
I have struggled with quite a few reasons and find that as I work on pushing aside my excuses that I find new ones. I have never really liked to exercise. As a teen I struggled with knee pain and asthma. I was already very skinny, so why exercise? It didn't matter what I ate, I still wouldn't gain anything; so why eat healthy? I didn't get a good routine set up then and it is much harder now that I am very set in my ways.
I LOVE donuts, cake, chocolate, cookies...Like I would be happy eating them for every meal and snack. I am addicted. They emotionally make me feel "better." I have always felt crummy after eating them, but my brain was happy and so I kept eating them. Addiction to junk food- my first main reason.
Figuring out that I am quite gluten intolerant forced me to change that. It is a lot more expensive to buy pre-made gluten free junk food. And making them was time consuming and I couldn't do it without my kids knowing; which meant that I would have to share! haha So I slowly phased out a lot of that food.
Ok, now I don't have that excuse... so why do I fight being fit and healthy?
I won't bore you with each and every thing that has arisen, but the most recent one that I have realized, which I think is the root of it, is this:
If I feel good physically, am strong, have a great body from working out, great skin from eating healthy....then the natural thing would be to feel good about myself and my looks- therefore having self esteem. I have never felt worthy of that. I have many past memories of my looks being made fun of embedded into my mind. So whenever I have felt like I look good I will hear those voices telling me I am ugly, my chin is too big, my nose is huge, etc. I hear a voice saying, "How can YOU have self esteem?? You are too ugly to have self esteem!"
And this is where I am stuck. In this horrible mindset. I am afraid of looking good. I am terrified of actually thinking that I look good. And this is a crummy place to be stuck.
Am I going to let this hold me back anymore?! NO! Ok...so on the inside I am really doubting my abilities to fight this mindset... But I think the first step is to recognize what I need to work on- check! Next thing to do is to fake it till I believe it- check! I am going to say I won't let it get in my way any more. Then I will remind myself of it again in a few minutes...and then again and again until I do finally believe I am strong enough AND WORTH IT to believe I deserve self esteem. I have to do this. For me, for my husband, and for my kids. They deserve the best me that I can possibly be. And until I feel good about myself, I can't be my best.
What is holding you back? It is time to peel back the layers and work on them one by one until you finally allow yourself to get healthy!
Not everyone has the same reasons. The reasons can vary quite a bit. But we all have our reasons.
The important thing is to not let our reasons be an excuse! Because no matter what, there are things we can do to be healthier.
I have struggled with quite a few reasons and find that as I work on pushing aside my excuses that I find new ones. I have never really liked to exercise. As a teen I struggled with knee pain and asthma. I was already very skinny, so why exercise? It didn't matter what I ate, I still wouldn't gain anything; so why eat healthy? I didn't get a good routine set up then and it is much harder now that I am very set in my ways.
I LOVE donuts, cake, chocolate, cookies...Like I would be happy eating them for every meal and snack. I am addicted. They emotionally make me feel "better." I have always felt crummy after eating them, but my brain was happy and so I kept eating them. Addiction to junk food- my first main reason.
Figuring out that I am quite gluten intolerant forced me to change that. It is a lot more expensive to buy pre-made gluten free junk food. And making them was time consuming and I couldn't do it without my kids knowing; which meant that I would have to share! haha So I slowly phased out a lot of that food.
Ok, now I don't have that excuse... so why do I fight being fit and healthy?
I won't bore you with each and every thing that has arisen, but the most recent one that I have realized, which I think is the root of it, is this:
I don't feel worthy of having self esteem.
If I feel good physically, am strong, have a great body from working out, great skin from eating healthy....then the natural thing would be to feel good about myself and my looks- therefore having self esteem. I have never felt worthy of that. I have many past memories of my looks being made fun of embedded into my mind. So whenever I have felt like I look good I will hear those voices telling me I am ugly, my chin is too big, my nose is huge, etc. I hear a voice saying, "How can YOU have self esteem?? You are too ugly to have self esteem!"
And this is where I am stuck. In this horrible mindset. I am afraid of looking good. I am terrified of actually thinking that I look good. And this is a crummy place to be stuck.
Am I going to let this hold me back anymore?! NO! Ok...so on the inside I am really doubting my abilities to fight this mindset... But I think the first step is to recognize what I need to work on- check! Next thing to do is to fake it till I believe it- check! I am going to say I won't let it get in my way any more. Then I will remind myself of it again in a few minutes...and then again and again until I do finally believe I am strong enough AND WORTH IT to believe I deserve self esteem. I have to do this. For me, for my husband, and for my kids. They deserve the best me that I can possibly be. And until I feel good about myself, I can't be my best.
What is holding you back? It is time to peel back the layers and work on them one by one until you finally allow yourself to get healthy!
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
5 Tips To Get Motivated
Some days it is just really hard to get going. Today is very much one of those days.
My 4 year old woke up because of a "sad dream" at 4 am. I had only been asleep for almost 4 hours so I just climbed into her bed so I could just go back to sleep and still have her be able to easily go back to sleep. But I don't sleep well in her bed, especially next to her- she moves constantly. So as you can imagine- I'm so very tired today that I just want to be napping.
My youngest is napping, so really I could get away with taking a nap. But then I think of all the many things that have to be done today and all the appointments and running around; and I know that this is my only chance to workout today.
After a while I was able to convince myself to get up off my bum and do the 21 Day Fix upper body workout. Doing the 30 minute workout- though exhausting and a hard workout- gave me some energy. When I was done, I wanted to burn some more calories so I got out the treadmill I bought a couple weeks ago, but hadn't actually used it.
This treadmill is a manual one that is inclined, so is a very hard workout. I lasted 10 minutes and that was with pushing it hard! I wanted to give up after only 3 minutes; which had felt like 20 haha.
My normal mindset over the years would be- I'm too tired, I'll work out tomorrow instead. Then the next day would come and I would say the same thing... It was a horrible pattern I got stuck in. I refuse to get back into that pattern again.
I have noticed this past week and a half that if I am tired and don't want to exercise, that if I just make myself get started then I will gain the energy to keep going.
If you find yourself not wanting to workout, try these tips:
#1- Start with something small- even just doing a warm-up. That should get your body and mind ready for a full workout. So don't focus on doing a 30 minute workout, just focus on a few short minutes at a time, then add another minute or 2 as you go. Soon you will be at 30!
#2- Workout with a video- I find that if I am just trying to come up with exercises to do rather than following someone's routine, then I don't do as much or work as hard.
#3- Make a list of the reason why you want to workout and refer to it as a motivator for pushing yourself to workout. (my biggest motivator is that my brother is driving over 12 hours to come do the Spartan Race with me this summer, so I HAVE to get in shape for it!)
#4- Bribe yourself!! Pick a treat that you will reward yourself with if you workout- "If I workout 30 minutes then I can sit and watch a tv show for 30 minutes." or "If I workout 3 times this week then I get to have a frozen yogurt." I am sure you can come up with some great motivators. Bribery works for kids, I think all parents are guilty of bribery to some degree haha, so why not use it on ourselves?!?! Just make sure to go for healthy rewards so that you don't undo all your hard work. (a little chocolate here and there is fine...and GOOD in my opinion haha, but not a bag full of chocolate!)
#5- Join a team that you check in with. There are so many different online resources for this. My husband and I are part of the Beach Body community. We have a coach who motivates us. There are challenges we can be a part of to win prizes and be held accountable for exercising and eating right. That has been helping both of us a lot!
Have you found something that helps get you motivated to get your workout in? Leave a comment below. I would love to hear your tips too!
My 4 year old woke up because of a "sad dream" at 4 am. I had only been asleep for almost 4 hours so I just climbed into her bed so I could just go back to sleep and still have her be able to easily go back to sleep. But I don't sleep well in her bed, especially next to her- she moves constantly. So as you can imagine- I'm so very tired today that I just want to be napping.
My youngest is napping, so really I could get away with taking a nap. But then I think of all the many things that have to be done today and all the appointments and running around; and I know that this is my only chance to workout today.
After a while I was able to convince myself to get up off my bum and do the 21 Day Fix upper body workout. Doing the 30 minute workout- though exhausting and a hard workout- gave me some energy. When I was done, I wanted to burn some more calories so I got out the treadmill I bought a couple weeks ago, but hadn't actually used it.
This treadmill is a manual one that is inclined, so is a very hard workout. I lasted 10 minutes and that was with pushing it hard! I wanted to give up after only 3 minutes; which had felt like 20 haha.
My normal mindset over the years would be- I'm too tired, I'll work out tomorrow instead. Then the next day would come and I would say the same thing... It was a horrible pattern I got stuck in. I refuse to get back into that pattern again.
I have noticed this past week and a half that if I am tired and don't want to exercise, that if I just make myself get started then I will gain the energy to keep going.
If you find yourself not wanting to workout, try these tips:
#1- Start with something small- even just doing a warm-up. That should get your body and mind ready for a full workout. So don't focus on doing a 30 minute workout, just focus on a few short minutes at a time, then add another minute or 2 as you go. Soon you will be at 30!
#2- Workout with a video- I find that if I am just trying to come up with exercises to do rather than following someone's routine, then I don't do as much or work as hard.
#3- Make a list of the reason why you want to workout and refer to it as a motivator for pushing yourself to workout. (my biggest motivator is that my brother is driving over 12 hours to come do the Spartan Race with me this summer, so I HAVE to get in shape for it!)
#4- Bribe yourself!! Pick a treat that you will reward yourself with if you workout- "If I workout 30 minutes then I can sit and watch a tv show for 30 minutes." or "If I workout 3 times this week then I get to have a frozen yogurt." I am sure you can come up with some great motivators. Bribery works for kids, I think all parents are guilty of bribery to some degree haha, so why not use it on ourselves?!?! Just make sure to go for healthy rewards so that you don't undo all your hard work. (a little chocolate here and there is fine...and GOOD in my opinion haha, but not a bag full of chocolate!)
#5- Join a team that you check in with. There are so many different online resources for this. My husband and I are part of the Beach Body community. We have a coach who motivates us. There are challenges we can be a part of to win prizes and be held accountable for exercising and eating right. That has been helping both of us a lot!
Have you found something that helps get you motivated to get your workout in? Leave a comment below. I would love to hear your tips too!
Saturday, May 9, 2015
I CAN Do This
A few years back, when I weighed 50 lbs more, I had friends who made rather discouraging comments. One, who considered me his best friend, actually said to me, "You just need to accept the fact that you are fat and always will be." Another "good" friend would often tell me I was fat and that she loved me anyway. My in-laws also often made comments. The one that still sticks in my mind- because it hurt the most- was when we were trying to take a family picture. I set up the camera with a timer then was going to go join them. One of them made the comment that I was too big to fit in the picture.
Comments like those hurt. They hurt bad. And they don't help at all! During the time these comments were made, my husband and I were working hard to lose weight. We had a Biggest Loser competition going on between us. We were both losing weight (definitely not as fast as the people on the show though!). No matter how hard I tried, the comments were said. And even when they weren't being said to me- they were still stuck in my mind. So I gave up. My closest friends didn't believe in me, so why try any more? I figured I would always be fat.
Their words still often come to my mind, but now instead of letting them make me crawl back into my tub of chocolate ice cream- I just tell myself, "I am going to prove them wrong!" Course I already have. I have lost 54 lbs already! I am proud of that. Sure, I am not skinny like I was back in high school, but guess what?! I wasn't healthy when I was skinny in high school! I want to be healthy and I am on my way there.
Now I have a great support group. I think that is why this time I will stick with it. I have done 30 minutes or more of exercise every day this week (Monday through Saturday) and I WILL keep going.
If you are on your journey to getting healthy, make sure that you have a good support group and do your best to tune out the ones who will put you down and make you feel less than you are. Because YOU are amazing. YOU are capable of getting healthy. And YOU are worth the time and effort! I truly believe that about you.
Comments like those hurt. They hurt bad. And they don't help at all! During the time these comments were made, my husband and I were working hard to lose weight. We had a Biggest Loser competition going on between us. We were both losing weight (definitely not as fast as the people on the show though!). No matter how hard I tried, the comments were said. And even when they weren't being said to me- they were still stuck in my mind. So I gave up. My closest friends didn't believe in me, so why try any more? I figured I would always be fat.
Their words still often come to my mind, but now instead of letting them make me crawl back into my tub of chocolate ice cream- I just tell myself, "I am going to prove them wrong!" Course I already have. I have lost 54 lbs already! I am proud of that. Sure, I am not skinny like I was back in high school, but guess what?! I wasn't healthy when I was skinny in high school! I want to be healthy and I am on my way there.
Now I have a great support group. I think that is why this time I will stick with it. I have done 30 minutes or more of exercise every day this week (Monday through Saturday) and I WILL keep going.
If you are on your journey to getting healthy, make sure that you have a good support group and do your best to tune out the ones who will put you down and make you feel less than you are. Because YOU are amazing. YOU are capable of getting healthy. And YOU are worth the time and effort! I truly believe that about you.
Friday, May 8, 2015
Setting A Good Example
I think one of the best things about taking charge of my health is the example it sets to my kids. We have a lot of health problems on both my side and my husband's side of the family. So to show our kids how to grow up making healthy choices will hopefully help them not end up with diabetes or heart disease (which run in our family).
I love that my 3 year old son begs for salad. He absolutely LOVES it. There have been nights where I didn't put a salad out with dinner and he got upset and said, "Want salad!" I love that my 4 year old will ask if she can have a healthy treat and that my 8 year old asks to exercise with us. Our 13 year old is wanting me to start jogging with her and she wants to do the Spartan Race with me this summer.
Last night, my hubby and I did our 21 Day Fix workout (we were on the pilates one....but really should've been called "intense ab workout"!). Our 8 year old daughter ended up joining in. Then once the 30 minute workout was over, she begged to do another one! We were hurting so bad. Our abs were on fire! But how could I turn down my daughter who wanted to do something good for her body? So we did the 10 min Ab Fix.... OW! Over 400 sit ups later... our abs were even MORE on fire! She asked to do more, but it was close to 10 pm and I really don't think my body could've done any more haha. But she got up this morning and worked out with her dad again and she can't wait for tomorrow since she has no school and can workout with me.
I love that my kids are getting excited about working out. I love that they are noticing our food changes and asking questions about it and asking if they can eat the way we are. I told my 8 year old she can eat the 21 Day Fix diet if she wants BUT she doesn't need to measure because she should eat what her body is telling her to. I don't want her to feel she needs to restrict her intake right now; just listen to her body. And that she doesn't need to diet, but eating healthy foods is a good idea.
As a parent, it is so important to set a good example to our kids. Afterall, where else are they going to learn good habits?
I love that my 3 year old son begs for salad. He absolutely LOVES it. There have been nights where I didn't put a salad out with dinner and he got upset and said, "Want salad!" I love that my 4 year old will ask if she can have a healthy treat and that my 8 year old asks to exercise with us. Our 13 year old is wanting me to start jogging with her and she wants to do the Spartan Race with me this summer.
Last night, my hubby and I did our 21 Day Fix workout (we were on the pilates one....but really should've been called "intense ab workout"!). Our 8 year old daughter ended up joining in. Then once the 30 minute workout was over, she begged to do another one! We were hurting so bad. Our abs were on fire! But how could I turn down my daughter who wanted to do something good for her body? So we did the 10 min Ab Fix.... OW! Over 400 sit ups later... our abs were even MORE on fire! She asked to do more, but it was close to 10 pm and I really don't think my body could've done any more haha. But she got up this morning and worked out with her dad again and she can't wait for tomorrow since she has no school and can workout with me.
I love that my kids are getting excited about working out. I love that they are noticing our food changes and asking questions about it and asking if they can eat the way we are. I told my 8 year old she can eat the 21 Day Fix diet if she wants BUT she doesn't need to measure because she should eat what her body is telling her to. I don't want her to feel she needs to restrict her intake right now; just listen to her body. And that she doesn't need to diet, but eating healthy foods is a good idea.
As a parent, it is so important to set a good example to our kids. Afterall, where else are they going to learn good habits?
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
I Was Craving Jogging..... WHAT?!?!?!
I don't know what to do with all of this new-found energy! Today I just had so much energy pent up inside that I went to a local state park and jogged almost 2 miles on a very hilly path through the woods. I am not a runner. I normally am not even a jogger. But today I was seriously craving a jog.
It was so beautiful out and peaceful. I listened to music, breathed in the fresh air, and pushed my body to it's limit. And it felt GOOD! I am not even sure how to process this haha! This isn't the me I've known for 33 years. This isn't the me that I was even a few days ago. This commitment to a healthier me has really changed a lot in such a short time.
I am eating healthier, I am exercising no matter how badly I don't want to, I am focused on bettering myself. The results so far in just a few short days? I am happier. I had been trying to get out of a depression funk for months. I am finally out of it. I am already feeling more confident in myself and having self esteem. I have gone my whole life with barely ever feeling good about myself and I feel better about myself right now than I ever have before. I feel good. And saying it makes me feel even better!
I am even seeing physical changes already too. Which is just crazy.
All it takes it making a choice. Not a doing something because your doctor told you to, your spouse told you to, a friend told you to... But because YOU decided in your heart, mind, and soul that you want to be a better you. Every time I have tried to get healthier, it was half-hearted. This time my whole heart is in it. It helps that I have a support system to help me, but I am not doing FOR them, I am doing it for ME. For the first time in a long time, I am excited about life and the future.
It was so beautiful out and peaceful. I listened to music, breathed in the fresh air, and pushed my body to it's limit. And it felt GOOD! I am not even sure how to process this haha! This isn't the me I've known for 33 years. This isn't the me that I was even a few days ago. This commitment to a healthier me has really changed a lot in such a short time.
I am eating healthier, I am exercising no matter how badly I don't want to, I am focused on bettering myself. The results so far in just a few short days? I am happier. I had been trying to get out of a depression funk for months. I am finally out of it. I am already feeling more confident in myself and having self esteem. I have gone my whole life with barely ever feeling good about myself and I feel better about myself right now than I ever have before. I feel good. And saying it makes me feel even better!
I am even seeing physical changes already too. Which is just crazy.
All it takes it making a choice. Not a doing something because your doctor told you to, your spouse told you to, a friend told you to... But because YOU decided in your heart, mind, and soul that you want to be a better you. Every time I have tried to get healthier, it was half-hearted. This time my whole heart is in it. It helps that I have a support system to help me, but I am not doing FOR them, I am doing it for ME. For the first time in a long time, I am excited about life and the future.
Day 3- Things Are Looking Up
When I woke up today, I didn't want to move. My muscles were tense and sore and I again, figured staying in bed would be nice. But I had scheduled a chiropractor appointment this morning, so had to get up. Once I started moving, my body felt a little better, but still very sore. I couldn't imagine getting through my exercise routine today.
At my appointment, my chiropractor told me of a supplement (creatine monohydrate) that he uses to lessen the affects of the sore muscles. So after I finished my appointment I went and bought some. I wasn't about to try and do my workout for the day without it! :) I got home and mixed it in with my Shakeology for my breakfast then soon after I started my workout.
My husband and I decided to do the workout together today since he has the day off. I am sure we looked absolutely ridiculous... two adults struggling to do the moves the "correct" way, moaning and groaning as we do the simpler/modified versions. We seriously both made pained sounds throughout. There were times I actually collapsed onto the mat during the 20 second rest periods and really didn't want to get back up. Of course my friend's pug (we are dog-sitting today) thought that was great and came over to nuzzle her nose into my face/neck. Then she and our dog fought for our attention as we were exercising! Are you envisioning this? If you are, then I hope you are enjoying a good laugh! :)
On today's workout, the quote they had written on the chalkboard said,
I thought about how many times I have started an exercise program, only to give up a few days in because the pain was too much. If I just push through then I can get past the pain, strengthen my body, and not have to go through the excruciating pain part again! This time I am sticking with it. I have my husband and friend who are my "coaches" to keep me going and keep me accountable. They encourage me and help me through the hard parts. I think that is why this time I won't give up- this time I am not just relying on myself, but having encouragement to help me through.
I hope that through sharing my struggles and how I worked through them, that maybe I can help others who are going through it too. Taking control of your health is important. I am 33 and just starting to finally realize how important it truly is.
Also, cute dogs and laughs are important so I made this :)
At my appointment, my chiropractor told me of a supplement (creatine monohydrate) that he uses to lessen the affects of the sore muscles. So after I finished my appointment I went and bought some. I wasn't about to try and do my workout for the day without it! :) I got home and mixed it in with my Shakeology for my breakfast then soon after I started my workout.
My husband and I decided to do the workout together today since he has the day off. I am sure we looked absolutely ridiculous... two adults struggling to do the moves the "correct" way, moaning and groaning as we do the simpler/modified versions. We seriously both made pained sounds throughout. There were times I actually collapsed onto the mat during the 20 second rest periods and really didn't want to get back up. Of course my friend's pug (we are dog-sitting today) thought that was great and came over to nuzzle her nose into my face/neck. Then she and our dog fought for our attention as we were exercising! Are you envisioning this? If you are, then I hope you are enjoying a good laugh! :)
On today's workout, the quote they had written on the chalkboard said,
" If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up!"
I thought about how many times I have started an exercise program, only to give up a few days in because the pain was too much. If I just push through then I can get past the pain, strengthen my body, and not have to go through the excruciating pain part again! This time I am sticking with it. I have my husband and friend who are my "coaches" to keep me going and keep me accountable. They encourage me and help me through the hard parts. I think that is why this time I won't give up- this time I am not just relying on myself, but having encouragement to help me through.
I hope that through sharing my struggles and how I worked through them, that maybe I can help others who are going through it too. Taking control of your health is important. I am 33 and just starting to finally realize how important it truly is.
Also, cute dogs and laughs are important so I made this :)
Monday, May 4, 2015
Day 1- 21 Day Fix
I bought the PiYo challenge pack and my husband bought the 21 Day Fix challenge pack. I was planning on just alternating between both of our exercise programs and not really do a whole lot food wise, except make healthier choices. My husband and friend (who are my coaches on BeachBody) have been encouraging me to start the 21 Day Fix- exercise AND food. I really, really, REALLY didn't want to do the food part.
Let me explain why...
I struggle with fatigue and so the thought of putting much effort into what I eat is just overwhelming! To measure things out in the containers that come with the kit (it comes with color coded containers. Each color is a different food group. You figure out by your weight how many of each you can eat each day) and only be able to eat a certain amount of each container each day, just doesn't appeal to my tired brain. I already have enough on my plate of taking care of my 4 kids and the house AND fitting in a workout each day.
BUT today I decided that I am going to give it a try. WHY?? I am asking myself the same question! HAHA!
Ok, so the reason I am doing it is because I want to feel better and I want to learn portion control. It helps me get the correct amount of nutrients and amounts of food. I don't have to count calories (although I am going to for the first couple days just so I can convince my brain that I am indeed getting enough food into my body), just fill containers.
My breakfast was chocolate Shakeology with 8 oz of unsweetened almond milk and a small banana. That left me feeling full and gave me the energy to do my workout.
My lunch was 2 corn tortillas, 3 oz of chicken, and then I filled the green container with a mix of romain lettuce and grape tomatoes, with Tabasco sauce (thank goodness for unlimited hot sauce being allowed!!). It was very yummy, but I will admit it is less than I am used to eating for lunch. Normally I will eat 4 tacos with meat or beans, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and hot sauce. So cutting it down is going to be an adjustment.
Looks yummy right?!
I had already made the mind change that I wanted to eat healthier foods and cut out sugar, so that makes this a bit easier. It is the portion control that will be hardest. Like I mentioned in my first post- I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted and not gain anything. I still haven't been able to change that mind set! That is why me doing the 21 day fix is so important. It will train my body and mind to eat the correct portions.
Now onto the exercise... (I plugged my kids in... one on my phone and one on the computer, so that I could exercise in the morning rather than after they go to bed tonight)
OH MY GOODNESS!!! Day 1 kicked my behind! I am insanely out of shape. I had a big surgery back in December and wasn't allowed to lift anything at all for 8 weeks after and then for several more weeks I was only supposed to lift 15 pounds. I lost what little muscle I had and what little strength I had, so my body is weak beyond weak. I started out being able to copy the exercise moves exactly, but after about 5 or 6 minutes my body was exhausted. I had to do the modified moves, but I kept my body moving no matter how hard.
I used to give up if I couldn't keep up with an exercise video, but today I didn't. Because it is ok if I can't keep up. It is ok that it is too hard. That doesn't make me a failure! What would make me a failure is if I just gave up and didn't try. So I pushed through. I was sweating, my heart was racing, and my muscles were burning. At a couple parts my feet even started going numb. I made it through the 30 minute workout. And tomorrow I will be a tiny stronger and be able to do a tiny bit better. As I continue to do this each day (with the exception of Sunday...because that is my day of rest), I will get stronger and be able to eventually stop doing the modified versions.
Here is the crazy thing. After my workout was over, I sat down for a few minutes. After the brief rest, I had energy! I feel like running around and getting stuff done. I actually feel really good! Before I exercised I was tired and had to convince myself to do it. It truly is worth pushing yourself to exercise. It really will give you the boost you need.
Let me explain why...
I struggle with fatigue and so the thought of putting much effort into what I eat is just overwhelming! To measure things out in the containers that come with the kit (it comes with color coded containers. Each color is a different food group. You figure out by your weight how many of each you can eat each day) and only be able to eat a certain amount of each container each day, just doesn't appeal to my tired brain. I already have enough on my plate of taking care of my 4 kids and the house AND fitting in a workout each day.
BUT today I decided that I am going to give it a try. WHY?? I am asking myself the same question! HAHA!
Ok, so the reason I am doing it is because I want to feel better and I want to learn portion control. It helps me get the correct amount of nutrients and amounts of food. I don't have to count calories (although I am going to for the first couple days just so I can convince my brain that I am indeed getting enough food into my body), just fill containers.
My breakfast was chocolate Shakeology with 8 oz of unsweetened almond milk and a small banana. That left me feeling full and gave me the energy to do my workout.
My lunch was 2 corn tortillas, 3 oz of chicken, and then I filled the green container with a mix of romain lettuce and grape tomatoes, with Tabasco sauce (thank goodness for unlimited hot sauce being allowed!!). It was very yummy, but I will admit it is less than I am used to eating for lunch. Normally I will eat 4 tacos with meat or beans, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and hot sauce. So cutting it down is going to be an adjustment.
I had already made the mind change that I wanted to eat healthier foods and cut out sugar, so that makes this a bit easier. It is the portion control that will be hardest. Like I mentioned in my first post- I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted and not gain anything. I still haven't been able to change that mind set! That is why me doing the 21 day fix is so important. It will train my body and mind to eat the correct portions.
Now onto the exercise... (I plugged my kids in... one on my phone and one on the computer, so that I could exercise in the morning rather than after they go to bed tonight)
OH MY GOODNESS!!! Day 1 kicked my behind! I am insanely out of shape. I had a big surgery back in December and wasn't allowed to lift anything at all for 8 weeks after and then for several more weeks I was only supposed to lift 15 pounds. I lost what little muscle I had and what little strength I had, so my body is weak beyond weak. I started out being able to copy the exercise moves exactly, but after about 5 or 6 minutes my body was exhausted. I had to do the modified moves, but I kept my body moving no matter how hard.
I used to give up if I couldn't keep up with an exercise video, but today I didn't. Because it is ok if I can't keep up. It is ok that it is too hard. That doesn't make me a failure! What would make me a failure is if I just gave up and didn't try. So I pushed through. I was sweating, my heart was racing, and my muscles were burning. At a couple parts my feet even started going numb. I made it through the 30 minute workout. And tomorrow I will be a tiny stronger and be able to do a tiny bit better. As I continue to do this each day (with the exception of Sunday...because that is my day of rest), I will get stronger and be able to eventually stop doing the modified versions.
Here is the crazy thing. After my workout was over, I sat down for a few minutes. After the brief rest, I had energy! I feel like running around and getting stuff done. I actually feel really good! Before I exercised I was tired and had to convince myself to do it. It truly is worth pushing yourself to exercise. It really will give you the boost you need.
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
A Little About My Journey Thus Far
For my first post, I want to share a bit about me.
I am 33 years old, married and have 4 kids (ages 13, 8, 4, and 3). That is the me now.... but I would like to go back a little further...hope that I don't bore you!
My whole life I was thin. I was actually teased in high school for being so skinny. I had girls tell me, "you are so skinny you make me sick." How nice, right? I could eat anything and everything (and I did) and not gain a pound. I remember working at Burger King and my manager would let me eat whatever I wanted. In one shift I would eat a whole basket of chicken tenders, a basket of onion rings, a couple of whopper jr's, french toast sticks, tons of sugary soda... It was sickening really.
Then when I was pregnant with my first child I finally gained weight.... a LOT of weight. I went from 110 lbs to 185 lbs! After she was born, I stayed around 150. It took a couple years, but I finally got back down to the 120's. I felt pretty good and actually confident about my body. Then I had my 2nd child. After she was born, I worked so hard to get healthy. My husband and I joined a gym and I worked out 2 hours a day, 6 days a week. I ate only 1500 calories a day. I was doing more for my health than I ever had before. But I gained weight. A LOT of weight.
This is me in 2008 (my 2nd child was 1 1/2 years old). BIG difference right? Yes, pun was intended ;)
It turned out that my thyroid was all out of whack so it didn't matter what I was doing, I just kept gaining weight. It took a little while to get my thyroid under control and I slowly lost some of the weight. In the picture above, I was at my very heaviest weight- 210 lbs.
I have since had 2 more kids. My youngest just turned 3 and I am still trying to finish losing the weight I gained back in 2007. I am down to about 158 right now. I hadn't been this weight in about 7 years. I still would like to lose some more weight, but more importantly- I want to get healthy. Health isn't just about what the scale says. Health encompasses physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well being. I want to be healthy in all aspects.
There is much more about me and how I got to where I am now, but I will save it for another time. I hope that as I share my struggles and successes that it may help others in their journey. I know that doing this blog will also benefit me. It will keep me concentrating on my health more. I hope you will join me on my journey!
I am 33 years old, married and have 4 kids (ages 13, 8, 4, and 3). That is the me now.... but I would like to go back a little further...hope that I don't bore you!
My whole life I was thin. I was actually teased in high school for being so skinny. I had girls tell me, "you are so skinny you make me sick." How nice, right? I could eat anything and everything (and I did) and not gain a pound. I remember working at Burger King and my manager would let me eat whatever I wanted. In one shift I would eat a whole basket of chicken tenders, a basket of onion rings, a couple of whopper jr's, french toast sticks, tons of sugary soda... It was sickening really.
Then when I was pregnant with my first child I finally gained weight.... a LOT of weight. I went from 110 lbs to 185 lbs! After she was born, I stayed around 150. It took a couple years, but I finally got back down to the 120's. I felt pretty good and actually confident about my body. Then I had my 2nd child. After she was born, I worked so hard to get healthy. My husband and I joined a gym and I worked out 2 hours a day, 6 days a week. I ate only 1500 calories a day. I was doing more for my health than I ever had before. But I gained weight. A LOT of weight.
It turned out that my thyroid was all out of whack so it didn't matter what I was doing, I just kept gaining weight. It took a little while to get my thyroid under control and I slowly lost some of the weight. In the picture above, I was at my very heaviest weight- 210 lbs.
I have since had 2 more kids. My youngest just turned 3 and I am still trying to finish losing the weight I gained back in 2007. I am down to about 158 right now. I hadn't been this weight in about 7 years. I still would like to lose some more weight, but more importantly- I want to get healthy. Health isn't just about what the scale says. Health encompasses physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well being. I want to be healthy in all aspects.
There is much more about me and how I got to where I am now, but I will save it for another time. I hope that as I share my struggles and successes that it may help others in their journey. I know that doing this blog will also benefit me. It will keep me concentrating on my health more. I hope you will join me on my journey!
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