No, really. I truly NEED it.
I had forgotten how important it was for my mental/emotional health until tonight. It has been a very long week, which ended with my youngest getting sick (again!). So last night was spent getting up with him every 20-30 minutes from 11:30 pm til 4 am (I finally just stayed in his room on a mat on the floor). That was a rough start to my weekend and a rough way to end the already crummy week. I needed to go to the store today and couldn't because of having a sick child and my husband at work all day. I wasn't able to go to the store until almost 8 tonight. Which stressed me out.
I went through the store as quickly as possible, in a daze. I just wanted to get it done with and get home so I could go to bed. When I walked out of the store, a cool breeze blew across my face. I instantly stopped walking, closed my eyes, tilted my head up, and breathed it in. I didn't even think about what I was doing (or what the people walking past me thought!), I just instinctively stopped and breathed in the moment. I hadn't done that for a while. It felt AMAZING! I didn't want the moment to end. I reluctantly got into the van and drove home. I took in the groceries, grabbed my husband, and told him to put on his shoes and follow me. I took him outside and we just stood there in the cool breeze. Time stood still as we stood there, hand in hand, soaking in the calm, quiet moment. The stresses I had been burdened with had lifted.
I used to spend so much time out in nature. I grew up in Alaska, in a house in the woods. We had a creek, sledding hills, a tree fort, wild berries, and plenty of outdoors to explore. I spent most of my days outside. In the summer we would be out playing until 10 pm (or later) because it was so light we would lose track of time. I miss those days.
Now the only time I am really outdoors is when taking kids to and from school, going to appointments, running errands, rushing off to here and there. If I am outside with the kids (which rarely happens since they typically play outside as I make dinner) then it is spent trying to keep my 3 year old son (whom is autistic) safe and keep him from wandering off. I rarely just sit down and feel the grass on my skin, listen to the sounds of nature (which is impossible in my yard since we live off a busy highway), and take it all in....feel one with the earth.
Tonight I got a glimpse of what I have been missing. I could still hear the cars driving by, but I also could hear the frogs and the wind so I focused on them instead. I need to take more time outs like that. The cliche saying comes to mind, "Stop and smell the roses." Cliche and simple, but oh so true! Taking moments like that is truly food for the soul.
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