What Is Holding You Back?

We all have a reason for not being fit and healthy. Every single one of us.

Not everyone has the same reasons. The reasons can vary quite a bit. But we all have our reasons.

The important thing is to not let our reasons be an excuse! Because no matter what, there are things we can do to be healthier.

I have struggled with quite a few reasons and find that as I work on pushing aside my excuses that I find new ones. I have never really liked to exercise. As a teen I struggled with knee pain and asthma. I was already very skinny, so why exercise? It didn't matter what I ate, I still wouldn't gain anything; so why eat healthy? I didn't get a good routine set up then and it is much harder now that I am very set in my ways.

I LOVE donuts, cake, chocolate, cookies...Like I would be happy eating them for every meal and snack. I am addicted. They emotionally make me feel "better." I have always felt crummy after eating them, but my brain was happy and so I kept eating them. Addiction to junk food- my first main reason.

Figuring out that I am quite gluten intolerant forced me to change that. It is a lot more expensive to buy pre-made gluten free junk food. And making them was time consuming and I couldn't do it without my kids knowing; which meant that I would have to share! haha So I slowly phased out a lot of that food.

Ok, now I don't have that excuse... so why do I fight being fit and healthy?

I won't bore you with each and every thing that has arisen, but the most recent one that I have realized, which I think is the root of it, is this:

I don't feel worthy of having self esteem.

If I feel good physically, am strong, have a great body from working out, great skin from eating healthy....then the natural thing would be to feel good about myself and my looks- therefore having self esteem. I have never felt worthy of that. I have many past memories of my looks being made fun of embedded into my mind. So whenever I have felt like I look good I will hear those voices telling me I am ugly, my chin is too big, my nose is huge, etc. I hear a voice saying, "How can YOU have self esteem?? You are too ugly to have self esteem!"

And this is where I am stuck. In this horrible mindset. I am afraid of looking good. I am terrified of actually thinking that I look good. And this is a crummy place to be stuck.

Am I going to let this hold me back anymore?! NO! Ok...so on the inside I am really doubting my abilities to fight this mindset... But I think the first step is to recognize what I need to work on- check! Next thing to do is to fake it till I believe it- check! I am going to say I won't let it get in my way any more. Then I will remind myself of it again in a few minutes...and then again and again until I do finally believe I am strong enough AND WORTH IT to believe I deserve self esteem. I have to do this. For me, for my husband, and for my kids. They deserve the best me that I can possibly be. And until I feel good about myself, I can't be my best.

What is holding you back? It is time to peel back the layers and work on them one by one until you finally allow yourself to get healthy!

5 Tips To Get Motivated

Some days it is just really hard to get going. Today is very much one of those days.

My 4 year old woke up because of a "sad dream" at 4 am. I had only been asleep for almost 4 hours so I just climbed into her bed so I could just go back to sleep and still have her be able to easily go back to sleep. But I don't sleep well in her bed, especially next to her- she moves constantly. So as you can imagine- I'm so very tired today that I just want to be napping.

My youngest is napping, so really I could get away with taking a nap. But then I think of all the many things that have to be done today and all the appointments and running around; and I know that this is my only chance to workout today.

After a while I was able to convince myself to get up off my bum and do the 21 Day Fix upper body workout. Doing the 30 minute workout- though exhausting and a hard workout- gave me some energy. When I was done, I wanted to burn some more calories so I got out the treadmill I bought a couple weeks ago, but hadn't actually used it.

This treadmill is a manual one that is inclined, so is a very hard workout. I lasted 10 minutes and that was with pushing it hard! I wanted to give up after only 3 minutes; which had felt like 20 haha.

My normal mindset over the years would be- I'm too tired, I'll work out tomorrow instead. Then the next day would come and I would say the same thing... It was a horrible pattern I got stuck in. I refuse to get back into that pattern again.

I have noticed this past week and a half that if I am tired and don't want to exercise, that if I just make myself get started then I will gain the energy to keep going.

If you find yourself not wanting to workout, try these tips:

#1- Start with something small- even just doing a warm-up. That should get your body and mind ready for a full workout. So don't focus on doing a 30 minute workout, just focus on a few short minutes at a time, then add another minute or 2 as you go. Soon you will be at 30!

#2- Workout with a video- I find that if I am just trying to come up with exercises to do rather than following someone's routine, then I don't do as much or work as hard.

#3- Make a list of the reason why you want to workout and refer to it as a motivator for pushing yourself to workout. (my biggest motivator is that my brother is driving over 12 hours to come do the Spartan Race with me this summer, so I HAVE to get in shape for it!)

#4- Bribe yourself!! Pick a treat that you will reward yourself with if you workout- "If I workout 30 minutes then I can sit and watch a tv show for 30 minutes." or "If I workout 3 times this week then I get to have a frozen yogurt." I am sure you can come up with some great motivators. Bribery works for kids, I think all parents are guilty of bribery to some degree haha, so why not use it on ourselves?!?! Just make sure to go for healthy rewards so that you don't undo all your hard work. (a little chocolate here and there is fine...and GOOD in my opinion haha, but not a bag full of chocolate!)

#5- Join a team that you check in with. There are so many different online resources for this. My husband and I are part of the Beach Body community. We have a coach who motivates us. There are challenges we can be a part of to win prizes and be held accountable for exercising and eating right. That has been helping both of us a lot!

Have you found something that helps get you motivated to get your workout in? Leave a comment below. I would love to hear your tips too!

I CAN Do This

A few years back, when I weighed 50 lbs more, I had friends who made rather discouraging comments. One, who considered me his best friend, actually said to me, "You just need to accept the fact that you are fat and always will be." Another "good" friend would often tell me I was fat and that she loved me anyway. My in-laws also often made comments. The one that still sticks in my mind- because it hurt the most- was when we were trying to take a family picture. I set up the camera with a timer then was going to go join them. One of them made the comment that I was too big to fit in the picture.

Comments like those hurt. They hurt bad. And they don't help at all! During the time these comments were made, my husband and I were working hard to lose weight. We had a Biggest Loser competition going on between us. We were both losing weight (definitely not as fast as the people on the show though!). No matter how hard I tried, the comments were said. And even when they weren't being said to me- they were still stuck in my mind. So I gave up. My closest friends didn't believe in me, so why try any more? I figured I would always be fat.

Their words still often come to my mind, but now instead of letting them make me crawl back into my tub of chocolate ice cream- I just tell myself, "I am going to prove them wrong!" Course I already have. I have lost 54 lbs already! I am proud of that. Sure, I am not skinny like I was back in high school, but guess what?! I wasn't healthy when I was skinny in high school! I want to be healthy and I am on my way there.

Now I have a great support group. I think that is why this time I will stick with it. I have done 30 minutes or more of exercise every day this week (Monday through Saturday) and I WILL keep going.

If you are on your journey to getting healthy, make sure that you have a good support group and do your best to tune out the ones who will put you down and make you feel less than you are. Because YOU are amazing. YOU are capable of getting healthy. And YOU are worth the time and effort! I truly believe that about you.

A Little About My Journey Thus Far

For my first post, I want to share a bit about me.

I am 33 years old, married and have 4 kids (ages 13, 8, 4, and 3). That is the me now.... but I would like to go back a little further...hope that I don't bore you!

My whole life I was thin. I was actually teased in high school for being so skinny. I had girls tell me, "you are so skinny you make me sick." How nice, right? I could eat anything and everything (and I did) and not gain a pound. I remember working at Burger King and my manager would let me eat whatever I wanted. In one shift I would eat a whole basket of chicken tenders, a basket of onion rings, a couple of whopper jr's, french toast sticks, tons of sugary soda... It was sickening really.

Then when I was pregnant with my first child I finally gained weight.... a LOT of weight. I went from 110 lbs to 185 lbs! After she was born, I stayed around 150. It took a couple years, but I finally got back down to the 120's. I felt pretty good and actually confident about my body. Then I had my 2nd child. After she was born, I worked so hard to get healthy. My husband and I joined a gym and I worked out 2 hours a day, 6 days a week. I ate only 1500 calories a day. I was doing more for my health than I ever had before. But I gained weight. A LOT of weight.

This is me in 2008 (my 2nd child was 1 1/2 years old). BIG difference right? Yes, pun was intended ;)

It turned out that my thyroid was all out of whack so it didn't matter what I was doing, I just kept gaining weight. It took a little while to get my thyroid under control and I slowly lost some of the weight. In the picture above, I was at my very heaviest weight- 210 lbs.

I have since had 2 more kids. My youngest just turned 3 and I am still trying to finish losing the weight I gained back in 2007. I am down to about 158 right now. I hadn't been this weight in about 7 years. I still would like to lose some more weight, but more importantly- I want to get healthy. Health isn't just about what the scale says. Health encompasses physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well being. I want to be healthy in all aspects.

There is much more about me and how I got to where I am now, but I will save it for another time. I hope that as I share my struggles and successes that it may help others in their journey. I know that doing this blog will also benefit me. It will keep me concentrating on my health more. I hope you will join me on my journey!