What Is Holding You Back?

We all have a reason for not being fit and healthy. Every single one of us.

Not everyone has the same reasons. The reasons can vary quite a bit. But we all have our reasons.

The important thing is to not let our reasons be an excuse! Because no matter what, there are things we can do to be healthier.

I have struggled with quite a few reasons and find that as I work on pushing aside my excuses that I find new ones. I have never really liked to exercise. As a teen I struggled with knee pain and asthma. I was already very skinny, so why exercise? It didn't matter what I ate, I still wouldn't gain anything; so why eat healthy? I didn't get a good routine set up then and it is much harder now that I am very set in my ways.

I LOVE donuts, cake, chocolate, cookies...Like I would be happy eating them for every meal and snack. I am addicted. They emotionally make me feel "better." I have always felt crummy after eating them, but my brain was happy and so I kept eating them. Addiction to junk food- my first main reason.

Figuring out that I am quite gluten intolerant forced me to change that. It is a lot more expensive to buy pre-made gluten free junk food. And making them was time consuming and I couldn't do it without my kids knowing; which meant that I would have to share! haha So I slowly phased out a lot of that food.

Ok, now I don't have that excuse... so why do I fight being fit and healthy?

I won't bore you with each and every thing that has arisen, but the most recent one that I have realized, which I think is the root of it, is this:

I don't feel worthy of having self esteem.

If I feel good physically, am strong, have a great body from working out, great skin from eating healthy....then the natural thing would be to feel good about myself and my looks- therefore having self esteem. I have never felt worthy of that. I have many past memories of my looks being made fun of embedded into my mind. So whenever I have felt like I look good I will hear those voices telling me I am ugly, my chin is too big, my nose is huge, etc. I hear a voice saying, "How can YOU have self esteem?? You are too ugly to have self esteem!"

And this is where I am stuck. In this horrible mindset. I am afraid of looking good. I am terrified of actually thinking that I look good. And this is a crummy place to be stuck.

Am I going to let this hold me back anymore?! NO! Ok...so on the inside I am really doubting my abilities to fight this mindset... But I think the first step is to recognize what I need to work on- check! Next thing to do is to fake it till I believe it- check! I am going to say I won't let it get in my way any more. Then I will remind myself of it again in a few minutes...and then again and again until I do finally believe I am strong enough AND WORTH IT to believe I deserve self esteem. I have to do this. For me, for my husband, and for my kids. They deserve the best me that I can possibly be. And until I feel good about myself, I can't be my best.

What is holding you back? It is time to peel back the layers and work on them one by one until you finally allow yourself to get healthy!

5 Tips To Get Motivated

Some days it is just really hard to get going. Today is very much one of those days.

My 4 year old woke up because of a "sad dream" at 4 am. I had only been asleep for almost 4 hours so I just climbed into her bed so I could just go back to sleep and still have her be able to easily go back to sleep. But I don't sleep well in her bed, especially next to her- she moves constantly. So as you can imagine- I'm so very tired today that I just want to be napping.

My youngest is napping, so really I could get away with taking a nap. But then I think of all the many things that have to be done today and all the appointments and running around; and I know that this is my only chance to workout today.

After a while I was able to convince myself to get up off my bum and do the 21 Day Fix upper body workout. Doing the 30 minute workout- though exhausting and a hard workout- gave me some energy. When I was done, I wanted to burn some more calories so I got out the treadmill I bought a couple weeks ago, but hadn't actually used it.

This treadmill is a manual one that is inclined, so is a very hard workout. I lasted 10 minutes and that was with pushing it hard! I wanted to give up after only 3 minutes; which had felt like 20 haha.

My normal mindset over the years would be- I'm too tired, I'll work out tomorrow instead. Then the next day would come and I would say the same thing... It was a horrible pattern I got stuck in. I refuse to get back into that pattern again.

I have noticed this past week and a half that if I am tired and don't want to exercise, that if I just make myself get started then I will gain the energy to keep going.

If you find yourself not wanting to workout, try these tips:

#1- Start with something small- even just doing a warm-up. That should get your body and mind ready for a full workout. So don't focus on doing a 30 minute workout, just focus on a few short minutes at a time, then add another minute or 2 as you go. Soon you will be at 30!

#2- Workout with a video- I find that if I am just trying to come up with exercises to do rather than following someone's routine, then I don't do as much or work as hard.

#3- Make a list of the reason why you want to workout and refer to it as a motivator for pushing yourself to workout. (my biggest motivator is that my brother is driving over 12 hours to come do the Spartan Race with me this summer, so I HAVE to get in shape for it!)

#4- Bribe yourself!! Pick a treat that you will reward yourself with if you workout- "If I workout 30 minutes then I can sit and watch a tv show for 30 minutes." or "If I workout 3 times this week then I get to have a frozen yogurt." I am sure you can come up with some great motivators. Bribery works for kids, I think all parents are guilty of bribery to some degree haha, so why not use it on ourselves?!?! Just make sure to go for healthy rewards so that you don't undo all your hard work. (a little chocolate here and there is fine...and GOOD in my opinion haha, but not a bag full of chocolate!)

#5- Join a team that you check in with. There are so many different online resources for this. My husband and I are part of the Beach Body community. We have a coach who motivates us. There are challenges we can be a part of to win prizes and be held accountable for exercising and eating right. That has been helping both of us a lot!

Have you found something that helps get you motivated to get your workout in? Leave a comment below. I would love to hear your tips too!

Setting A Good Example

I think one of the best things about taking charge of my health is the example it sets to my kids. We have a lot of health problems on both my side and my husband's side of the family. So to show our kids how to grow up making healthy choices will hopefully help them not end up with diabetes or heart disease (which run in our family).

I love that my 3 year old son begs for salad. He absolutely LOVES it. There have been nights where I didn't put a salad out with dinner and he got upset and said, "Want salad!" I love that my 4 year old will ask if she can have a healthy treat and that my 8 year old asks to exercise with us. Our 13 year old is wanting me to start jogging with her and she wants to do the Spartan Race with me this summer.

Last night, my hubby and I did our 21 Day Fix workout (we were on the pilates one....but really should've been called "intense ab workout"!). Our 8 year old daughter ended up joining in. Then once the 30 minute workout was over, she begged to do another one! We were hurting so bad. Our abs were on fire! But how could I turn down my daughter who wanted to do something good for her body? So we did the 10 min Ab Fix.... OW! Over 400 sit ups later... our abs were even MORE on fire! She asked to do more, but it was close to 10 pm and I really don't think my body could've done any more haha. But she got up this morning and worked out with her dad again and she can't wait for tomorrow since she has no school and can workout with me.

I love that my kids are getting excited about working out. I love that they are noticing our food changes and asking questions about it and asking if they can eat the way we are. I told my 8 year old she can eat the 21 Day Fix diet if she wants BUT she doesn't need to measure because she should eat what her body is telling her to. I don't want her to feel she needs to restrict her intake right now; just listen to her body. And that she doesn't need to diet, but eating healthy foods is a good idea.

As a parent, it is so important to set a good example to our kids. Afterall, where else are they going to learn good habits?

I Was Craving Jogging..... WHAT?!?!?!

I don't know what to do with all of this new-found energy! Today I just had so much energy pent up inside that I went to a local state park and jogged almost 2 miles on a very hilly path through the woods. I am not a runner. I normally am not even a jogger. But today I was seriously craving a jog.

It was so beautiful out and peaceful. I listened to music, breathed in the fresh air, and pushed my body to it's limit. And it felt GOOD! I am not even sure how to process this haha! This isn't the me I've known for 33 years. This isn't the me that I was even a few days ago. This commitment to a healthier me has really changed a lot in such a short time.

I am eating healthier, I am exercising no matter how badly I don't want to, I am focused on bettering myself. The results so far in just a few short days? I am happier. I had been trying to get out of a depression funk for months. I am finally out of it. I am already feeling more confident in myself and having self esteem. I have gone my whole life with barely ever feeling good about myself and I feel better about myself right now than I ever have before. I feel good. And saying it makes me feel even better!

I am even seeing physical changes already too. Which is just crazy.

All it takes it making a choice. Not a doing something because your doctor told you to, your spouse told you to, a friend told you to... But because YOU decided in your heart, mind, and soul that you want to be a better you. Every time I have tried to get healthier, it was half-hearted. This time my whole heart is in it. It helps that I have a support system to help me, but I am not doing FOR them, I am doing it for ME. For the first time in a long time, I am excited about life and the future.

Day 3- Things Are Looking Up

When I woke up today, I didn't want to move. My muscles were tense and sore and I again, figured staying in bed would be nice. But I had scheduled a chiropractor appointment this morning, so had to get up. Once I started moving, my body felt a little better, but still very sore. I couldn't imagine getting through my exercise routine today.

At my appointment, my chiropractor told me of a supplement (creatine monohydrate) that he uses to lessen the affects of the sore muscles. So after I finished my appointment I went and bought some. I wasn't about to try and do my workout for the day without it! :) I got home and mixed it in with my Shakeology for my breakfast then soon after I started my workout.

My husband and I decided to do the workout together today since he has the day off. I am sure we looked absolutely ridiculous... two adults struggling to do the moves the "correct" way, moaning and groaning as we do the simpler/modified versions. We seriously both made pained sounds throughout. There were times I actually collapsed onto the mat during the 20 second rest periods and really didn't want to get back up. Of course my friend's pug (we are dog-sitting today) thought that was great and came over to nuzzle her nose into my face/neck. Then she and our dog fought for our attention as we were exercising! Are you envisioning this? If you are, then I hope you are enjoying a good laugh! :)

On today's workout, the quote they had written on the chalkboard said,

" If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up!"

I thought about how many times I have started an exercise program, only to give up a few days in because the pain was too much. If I just push through then I can get past the pain, strengthen my body, and not have to go through the excruciating pain part again! This time I am sticking with it. I have my husband and friend who are my "coaches" to keep me going and keep me accountable. They encourage me and help me through the hard parts. I think that is why this time I won't give up- this time I am not just relying on myself, but having encouragement to help me through.

I hope that through sharing my struggles and how I worked through them, that maybe I can help others who are going through it too. Taking control of your health is important. I am 33 and just starting to finally realize how important it truly is.

Also, cute dogs and laughs are important so I made this :)

Day 1- 21 Day Fix

I bought the PiYo challenge pack and my husband bought the 21 Day Fix challenge pack. I was planning on just alternating between both of our exercise programs and not really do a whole lot food wise, except make healthier choices. My husband and friend (who are my coaches on BeachBody) have been encouraging me to start the 21 Day Fix- exercise AND food. I really, really, REALLY didn't want to do the food part.

Let me explain why...

I struggle with fatigue and so the thought of putting much effort into what I eat is just overwhelming! To measure things out in the containers that come with the kit (it comes with color coded containers. Each color is a different food group. You figure out by your weight how many of each you can eat each day) and only be able to eat a certain amount of each container each day, just doesn't appeal to my tired brain. I already have enough on my plate of taking care of my 4 kids and the house AND fitting in a workout each day.

BUT today I decided that I am going to give it a try. WHY?? I am asking myself the same question! HAHA!

Ok, so the reason I am doing it is because I want to feel better and I want to learn portion control. It helps me get the correct amount of nutrients and amounts of food. I don't have to count calories (although I am going to for the first couple days just so I can convince my brain that I am indeed getting enough food into my body), just fill containers.

My breakfast was chocolate Shakeology with 8 oz of unsweetened almond milk and a small banana. That left me feeling full and gave me the energy to do my workout.

My lunch was 2 corn tortillas, 3 oz of chicken, and then I filled the green container with a mix of romain lettuce and grape tomatoes, with Tabasco sauce (thank goodness for unlimited hot sauce being allowed!!). It was very yummy, but I will admit it is less than I am used to eating for lunch. Normally I will eat 4 tacos with meat or beans, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and hot sauce. So cutting it down is going to be an adjustment.

Looks yummy right?!


I had already made the mind change that I wanted to eat healthier foods and cut out sugar, so that makes this a bit easier. It is the portion control that will be hardest. Like I mentioned in my first post- I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted and not gain anything. I still haven't been able to change that mind set! That is why me doing the 21 day fix is so important. It will train my body and mind to eat the correct portions.

Now onto the exercise... (I plugged my kids in... one on my phone and one on the computer, so that I could exercise in the morning rather than after they go to bed tonight)

OH MY GOODNESS!!! Day 1 kicked my behind! I am insanely out of shape. I had a big surgery back in December and wasn't allowed to lift anything at all for 8 weeks after and then for several more weeks I was only supposed to lift 15 pounds. I lost what little muscle I had and what little strength I had, so my body is weak beyond weak. I started out being able to copy the exercise moves exactly, but after about 5 or 6 minutes my body was exhausted. I had to do the modified moves, but I kept my body moving no matter how hard.

I used to give up if I couldn't keep up with an exercise video, but today I didn't. Because it is ok if I can't keep up. It is ok that it is too hard. That doesn't make me a failure! What would make me a failure is if I just gave up and didn't try. So I pushed through. I was sweating, my heart was racing, and my muscles were burning. At a couple parts my feet even started going numb. I made it through the 30 minute workout. And tomorrow I will be a tiny stronger and be able to do a tiny bit better. As I continue to do this each day (with the exception of Sunday...because that is my day of rest), I will get stronger and be able to eventually stop doing the modified versions.

Here is the crazy thing. After my workout was over, I sat down for a few minutes. After the brief rest, I had energy! I feel like running around and getting stuff done. I actually feel really good! Before I exercised I was tired and had to convince myself to do it. It truly is worth pushing yourself to exercise. It really will give you the boost you need.

Something New

As I mentioned in my last post, I struggle with sticking to any kind of diet/exercise plan. Now that I have been working to change my mindset, I am starting a new venture to help kick me into gear. I am trying out Shakeology by BeachBody. I also just got the BeachBody PiYo exercise program too. My husband is doing the Shakeology with the 21 Day Fix program. He really wants me to join him on the 21 day fix... I am deciding if I will go that route first.

I don't get enough nutrients, I never have. I may be eating healthier, but I definitely am not getting every nutrient I should be. That is why I finally decided that I should try the Shakeology. I am curious to see if getting the nutrients that I need will help with my chronic fatigue and general feeling of wellness. I will update on here about how my health is doing as I use the shake and the exercise program. (to learn more about Shakeology click here)

This morning I drank the strawberry Shakeology for breakfast, then did a 35 minute workout. The PiYo kicked my behind!!!! I am so out of shape, it's not even funny. Ok, so my kids think it is funny...but I don't! They had a good laugh as I struggled to do planks and push-ups. Little stinkers ;)

As I mentioned, my husband is also doing the Shakeology and the 21 Day Fix. He will be blogging about his journey on his website Cut The Crap. (just click on the name of the blog and it will take you there). He has a bunch of blog posts from years back and just started up again. Lots of good reads on there if you want to check it out!

In my journey to become a healthy mom, I hope that my kids will see my example and apply it to their lives. If a healthy lifestyle is instilled young, then it will be easier for them when they are my age to live healthy. I have always dreaded exercise and dreaded watching what I eat. It has take me far too long to finally get to where I am today. My kids deserve to have a healthy, active mom. And I am ready to make myself be that mom. Plus, I have got to get my body ready for the Spartan Race so I don't let my brother down!! :)

What have you found that keeps you on the healthy path?